Forbidden Passion, Dire Consequences

269 Cuckold Lane

2009-02-17T19:03:00.001-08:00

269 Cuckold Lane

The crumbling foundation hides deeply
in the marshy farmland of northern Illinois.
The wedding house stood with many dreams-
It’s just another story of sprawl-
for the neighbors driving by
never saw a crumble.

In-laws praised this new house of frank.
Often they mingled just above
drunken on vodka martinis and other chemistry
required by the hostess.
A habit she learned from mother’s secret
all those years ago.

Empty bedrooms decorated
for unfertilized dreams
a low count will never fill
even after many treatments later.
The missing part seeks her heart-
leads her to other beds-
a new secret role she plays.

Electronic romance late at night as he sleeps.
The Oklahoma salesman is coming to town
in few nights time. A limo ride magnificent
the miles, his company credit card
pays for the space between her legs.
Two strangers meet deep inside
and one morning soon after, she takes ill.

Through the worries,
masked with shots of sloe gin
she schemes and plans.
It will be his. I can make him believe.
The fissure hides deep within.
This joy is not his.
The crimson tide flows-
tears of ache-tears of reprieve-
as dear hubby scoops another man’s
dead charity out of her gory bowl.

The Family Secret: Chapter 3 The Murder

2008-12-25T00:00:00.000-08:00

The hospital Don Juan was days away from marriage. In the days leading up, he was feeding on all the action he could, including pleasing Roy's wife.

Roy fought with what shall he do for these same days, and he decided he would confront her at work. He drove to the north side hospital in the early spring morning. He watched the numbers rotate slowly on his Dodge chromatic clock that sat adjacent to the glove box. He eventually found the parking space.

He walked up to her floor and looked around for her. She was no where to be found.

Inside a closed hospital room, she let her hospital lover in one more time, and he thrusted inside of her at a frantic rate as she was pushed up against the wall. She let out a moan, and pushed him away almost scared they were going to get caught. He tried to force her back, and she slapped him, pulled up her panties and rushed out of the room.

She caught Roy from her left side, and she hesitated. The hospital lover came out of the door sooner than expected. Roy knew, and rushed off.

Word got around quickly at the hospital and reached a jealous nurse whose heart was crushed. She thought he loved her, but she was just a number.

The next night, the jealous broken hearted nurse met the hospital lover one final time. As he pulled her panties down, she removed a surgical knife from her pocket, and slashed his neck. He was left do die.

In a panic, she rushed out of the room and left the hospital. A few hours later she was arrested, and another broken heart was born.

The Family Secret: Chapter 2 Roy

2008-12-24T00:00:00.000-08:00

Roy suffered from leg problems all of his life. During his childhood, everyone made fun of him. He brought his victimization into his adult life, and it made him mean, evil, and very jealous. He was very possessive of his young nurse bride, and when he was away, she liked to play.

He was your typical travelling salesman in the pharmaceutical business. He was on the road more than he was home, so she would get very board and needy while he was gone. She justified her actions with her hospital liaison to get her nightly fix on the hospital's clock. One night they got messy, and his big load ran down her leg onto the panties that were still attached to one ankle. Prior to this, she only had to deal with minimal amounts of body fluids.

She tried to clean it up as much as possible, but it crusted hard onto her black panties. She wasn't worried. He was on the road for another couple of days.

She drove home early the next morning. Her legs were tired from making her round from patient to patient. As she got to their northside home, his Oldsmobile was sitting in the driveway. She started to panic, and then she gained her composure. She would say hello, and then let him know she was very tired. She would undress, cover her clothes deep in the hamper, and make sure the stained panties were hidden deeply. She would do the laundry as soon as she got him occupied.

Jealous Roy wanted to spend time with his wife, so she went to bed to rid herself of him. As she slept he went digging to find the stiff stained fabric on a pair of panties he bought her a few months prior. His heart raged, but he wasn't going to let on just yet.

The Family Secret: Chapter 1 The Graveyard Shift Nurses

2008-12-23T00:00:00.000-08:00

He was smooth, pure 70s sexuality resembling Neil Diamond, and he made the rounds at the local hospital. From floor to floor, he knew how what each nurse wanted when they would meet him in the empty hospital rooms during the graveyard shift.

When he wasn't working at, or is that working the nurses at the hospital, he promised himself a woman who worked at a local denstist office in town. She would never smell the odor of the latest nurse when he would come home in the morning. She already left for work.

More than one nurse fell for him, but they all lived on separate floors. The nurse on the second floor never missed Sunday services at her small church, and she fell for him. She didn't fall the hardest.

She would meet him anywhere the opportunity existed, pull down her panties, allowing him to push inside underneath her white nurses dress. With each new meeting, they took more risks. Each time she would rush out of the room, a look of guilt, wiping the sweat from her brow, and she rushed into the bathroom to quickly clean up underneath her wet panties.

Back home, a world full of excuses and a medical condition, kept this young nurse from receiving the experimental fun she got at work. He was the jealous type, and would soon suspect that his young wife wasn't faithful.

The Trophy: Chapter 22, The Bicycle

2008-12-22T00:00:00.000-08:00

Aimee and I had been having talks about drinking, and doing positive things in her life to help her overcome drinking. I used to weigh right at 300 pounds, and I had an addiction to eating. I rediscovered cycling in my life in order to take the weight off and keep it off. I suggested to Aimee that a road bike may help her believe in herself like it did for me. I had suggested getting her a road bike, and since the middle of February, we found ourselves looking for bikes for her.

On March 7, 2003, we were supposed to go see a local charity production of Cinderella. I was working with two very tough doctors, and I was running late to pick Aimee up for the play. I picked her up, and she was in another drunken state. We started to drive to Aurora. By the time we got to Eola Road, she decided she didn't want to go because we were running late. I knew that it probably was because she was drinking. So we turned around. I had a very busy day at work that day, and needed to eat. We made our way back to Route 59, and stopped at the Meier convenient store. I went in to get something to eat, and Aimee went in to use the restroom. I watched her walk to the restroom, and she was so uncoordinated; not even close to a straight line. Her walk was so sloppy. My heart was becoming more sad by her drinking. I didn't say anything that night. I was just very disappointed in her. She stayed in the bathroom long enough for me to down a hot dog, drink a diet Pepsi, and eat a bag of M&Ms. My thoughts were wondering if I could save her. Nothing I was saying to her or doing was getting through. Her drinking was increasing. I decided at that point that the best thing to do was try to promote a healthier lifestyle by doing active things.

March 13, 2003

On the same afternoon that Dr. Bob was taking care of Aimee, I was at Village Cycle putting a bike on layaway for her. I put a deposit down. I tried calling several times that afternoon, but I didn't get an answer. I wonder why? I finally got a hold of her after 4:00. I told her that I had put a brand new yellow Felt road bike on lay away for her, and I wanted her to take a look at it. I was so excited. I asked her to go that night. I went and picked her up, and we went to Village Cycle. Aimee had been drinking before I picked her up. I could tell in her facial expressions, and I could smell it on her breath. I took her anyway. Chase, my friend and owner of Village Cycle, saw me walk in the store with Aimee, and immediately gave us attention. He fitted Aimee. I was embarrassed, because she was drunk. I had mentioned to Chase earlier that day why I wanted the bike, and if he felt it would help her out. He let her take it for a test ride around the parking lot. She was all over the place on the bike because she had been drinking. I was really worried she was going to wreck it, so I tried not to encourage her riding it very much.

She decided she wanted it. It was going to be a nice weekend in Chicago for March, and she was eager to get the bike. I told her I would have to wait on my commission check to get it out of layaway, so she put it on her Discover card. We were riding by the weekend.

From: Aimee

Date: Saturday, March 15, 2003 15:29:31

To: Lane

Subject: Cycling

Thank you for the bike!! I had a very good time riding with you...I know it can not be anything but beneficial for both of us. I feel proud of myself, sore, but proud. It feels good to push yourself no matter what. I feel very positive and alive. Thank you...that is the most incredible gift anyone has ever given me. You have given me something to challenge myself...strive for...and to begin to believe in myself again.

I love you more today then ever. You have been so very supportive to me.

I am so lucky to have you!

Aimee

The rides made Aimee feel positive, although it didn't stop the drinking. Had I known what went on at the apartment earlier that day, I would have never have thought about getting the bike.

Luckily, I was misinformed about the commission schedule at work, and my commission check was delayed one month. I felt really bad telling Aimee this, I would have to wait to pay her Discover Card. I felt like I was letting her down. She was very understanding fortunately.

Aimee and I had a promise that if one of us ever cheated, it was over. After I found out about all the e-mails, and about Dr. Bob coming over, I decided the bicycle bill wasn't my problem anymore. The relationship, in our terms, was over the second Dr. Bob walked into our aparment door. Aimee misrepresented herself as still being loyal to me when we agreed to get the bike. She was upset, but can you blame me? Had she lived up to her promise to me, then I would have lived up to my promise and paid for the bicycle.

The Trophy: Chapter 21, Dr. Bob

2008-12-21T00:00:00.000-08:00

My commitment to Aimee started to grow again, although I never really pulled away. I guess you could say I walked cautiously. We started to get very close again. There was more passion and romance. I made sure the cards and flowers were there again. I held her with more passion. She responded in the same manner. She even booked us for a Florida vacation to celebrate our one year anniversary in September.

From: Aimee

Date: Saturday, March 01, 2003 07:57:19

To: Lane

Subject: Vacation

Wanna take a vacation with me to Orlando in September? We are booked for 9/7 - 9/12 at the Hilton in the Walt Disney Resort. You can find the website at :

http://www.hilton.com

Wanna join me there to celebrate our one year anniversary...in a romantic and fun place???

I love you!

Aimee

I wanted to help her with her drinking. She said she needed something to make her believe in herself. I suggested cycling. We also decided to do some camping and in-line skating together. I wanted to help her in so many ways, but I did what most people involved with someone with a chemical addiction problem do. These things were positive steps though.

Her roommate and I threw her a 29th Birthday party. We invited friends and family. About thirty people showed up to honor her. We decorated the house in Princess Belle from Beauty and the Beast attire, since her princess name was Belle. Her friends Leslie and Molly were there. My friends who she liked were there, including Mickey, Todd, and Elanor. Tracy's family was there. She wrote to David later saying that her Birthday was lonely. This hurt me after all the effort we put into it. I feel she was wanting sympathy from him, and that she was still keeping him on a string.

-------Original Message-------

From: Aimee

Date: Monday, March 24, 2003 11:20:51

To: Lane

Subject: Re: I Love You

I LOVED my backpack!!! I wanted one soooo badly!! It was a very personal gift, because we want to hike/camp with each other so badly!! We both like to be active and outdoors...and it will be a chance for us to get away and have romance and be ALONE!!! I can't wait!!!

Thank you for all the time and effort you put into my birthday...it was awesome and I felt really loved by you and Tracy! I am so lucky to have you and Tracy as my family here...you spoil me!!

I love you!

Aimee

There was one thing that started changing though. It revolved around Aimee's cell phone. It was ringing a lot, and she wasn't taking the calls. She always would say the call wasn't identified. I became suspicious.

Tracy started talking to me about her boyfriend, fearing that he wasn't faithful as ell. We both agreed to work together. Tracy placed a keylogger on bother Aimee's work computer, home computer, and her boyfriend's laptop. This would track all her website activity and keystrokes.

Aimee had often mentioned her past with David as not being a loyal wife. These words were ringing in my head, and I needed to know why all of a sudden she wasn't taking these phone calls in front of me. This happened several times. I guess I knew her habits of sneaking around, since I was on the other end once. I also knew that I was playing with fire. She once told me about how David found out about a guy she met from Oklahoma City. He had set the computer up to record their instant messages, and then confronted her about it. David bought into her lies about OKC. In her opinion David was the asshole for doing this, and it wasn't the other way around for Aimee's misdoings to David. Aimee protected her private life with very close guard. She didn't like people prying into it, and I was about to find out why. She also got careless one morning, and when I walked to her computer, her Yahoo Messenger was on. It has several names listed, including mine. I quickly wrote down the names on the messenger. One belonged to Jerry. I wasn't happy. She told me she stopped talking to him because of me.

From: Aimee

Date: Monday, December 02, 2002 21:57:29

To: Lane

Subject: Re: You Will Never Be Alone

I LOVE YOU MORE THEN I WORDS CAN SAY!!! We are going to make it...you and I...we are going to be basking in the sun in Texas...in OUR home...happy...in love...close to both our families...with two or three beautiful and well-adjusted kids...who have parents who kiss and hug and embarress them to death....

YOU are my dream come true...and I will never hurt that....I assure you. I have cheated before...but I have not felt good about it...I have analyzed why I cheated...because I do not want to do it with us...you and I know what we need to make us work....we need to make the other happy and make sure ourselves are happy as well...and there will be no reason to stray. I assure you that I will give you all of me...completely...my desires are for you alone...without even a blink of an eye...all I want is you...and all I work for now is you.

Tell me...I have been thinking of us all night...is it better for me to get out of here as soon as possible and move in with Tracy with a years lease...or stay here longer...move out by myself in the spring...and have you move in....or what....

I love you!!!

After the keylogging program reported to Tracy everything, we began investigating. We found a lot of interesting things.

Date:

Tue, 27 Nov 2001 17:19:11 -0800 (PST)

From:

"MIKE"

Subject:

ADOPTION INFO

To:

"Aimee"

HI.

Mike T. is the attorney in Baton Rouge....225-xxx-xxxx

Nice man....... his assist is Cindy, she workd with all the girls when they are pregnant.......and then you need to call Sunny Ridge in Wheaton, they are off of butterfield rd and on Orchard Rd, just one mile west of Naperville rd and Butterfield rd near Danada Rice.........

--- Aimee wrote:

> I am all ready to go again...ha ha ha

> Thanks for all your help with the adoption stuff...I

> so appreciate it.

> xoxoxo

> --- MIKE wrote:

> > JUST a quick hi and a hug and a smile for the great morning we had!!!!!!!! and good pizza, hahaha

Have a great day, I will try you on your office phone just in case, it's just about 2pm now..

xxxx __________________________________________________

Within two days, I had my answers. I got into her secret e mail account, where numerous men were e mailing her. That isn't what broke my heart though. It was the fact that she invited one of these men over to the apartment that we had just decorated. When I confronted her, she first told me that he never came over. Then she told me that he did come over, but only stayed for 20 minutes. What was I to believe. I knew he had come over, because he had sent an e-mail after it happened telling her how he loved looking into her blue eyes.

From: Bob

Date: Thursday, March 13, 2003 11:22:57

To: Aimee

Subject: Re: Morning

I'll be in a silver 4 door Honda Accord. I'll have my cell phone on, so you can call me at 3xx-xxxx while I'm in the car if something comes up or changes. I would call you, but I want to be careful of my outgoing cell phone calls due to records. But there is no problem receiving calls. You should start looking for me after 1:30. O.K.? Relax...Dr. Bob will be there soon to make you feel better.

>From: Aimee

>To: Bob

>Subject: Re: Morning

>Date: Thu, 13 Mar 2003 09:05:10 -0800 (PST)

>Its not like I am 'sick'...just 'slow'. I am not contagious by any means and my energy level is up....

>ok...here you go.....your choice....my address is XXXX Branchwood Circle #XXX...Naperville.....(take I-88W to Winfield...tunr right on Diehl...turn left on Raymond....go about 1/2 mile to 1 mile to the apartment complex called 'The Ann Arbors'...turn right...follow the road the the left and follow the signs to my address." If my roommate is here...she drives a small black sportscar...two door...then...I will come out...I will look for your car...ok? If you don't see that car...just come to the door and I will let you in.

>I am anxious now!!

>Aimee

> Bob wrote:

>If you're sick, I'd rather stop by your place. You shouldn't go outside if you don't have to. Don't worry, I can be out of there in plenty of time, so I won't run into your roommate. Otherwise, the Caribou Coffee is fine too. Whatever makes you more comfortable. I can meet you at either place.

> >From: Aimee >To: Bob >Subject: Re: Morning >Date: Thu, 13 Mar 2003 08:44:37 -0800 (PST) > > >

Well...my roommates gets home about 3:30...so maybe meeting here is not the greatest place. We can...but I may have to hide you until she goes in her room. :) >Lets see....Naperville area...hmmmm.....there is a Caribou coffee on Raymond and Ogden....any restaurant on rt. 59.....the parking lot of Cantera 30....lol....or anywhere you can think of. >

Bob wrote: >Let me know where you're at. I can be there between 1:30 and 2 PM, if that works for you. I'm free until around 4 PM when I have to get the kids. > > > >From: Aimee

>To: Bob >Subject: Re: Morning >Date: Thu, 13 Mar 2003 08:16:47 -0800 (PST) > > >

Lets get together! Maybe its fate I am home today...;) >

Bob wrote: >Let me know. I'm free after lunch time. > > > >

From: Aimee >To: al haig >Subject: Re: Morning >Date: Thu! , 13 Mar

Dr. Bob turned out to be a real piece of work. I called the phone number from the e-mail. It was a generic recording provided by the cell phone company. In my heart, I knew this guy was bad for everything going on in Aimee's life. This guy obviously had a wife and kids, and was looking for some action. Of course, I didn't want him with Aimee, but at the same time, I knew Aimee was suffering confidence issues and alcohol issues. I figured I would give him a good scare to keep him away. I told him I know who he is. I know what you are doing. I advice it to stop, or I will have to tell your wife. A few days went by, and I eventually got a call from Dr. Bob. He asked me why I was threatening him. I played dumb. Two days later he was at the Naperville Police Department telling them that I was threatening his life. I told the office that yes I had called his cell phone. I told him that I found out that he came into our apartment with the intentions of having an affair with my girlfriend. I explained to the officer that Aimee was dealing with a lot of issues that included alcoholism, and that I didn't need this clown complicating things, so I threatened to tell his wife if he ever came to our apartment again. The officer was very nice, and went to talk to Dr. Bob. The officer came back on the line shortly, and told me he believed my story. He said after he told Dr. Bob what I said, he went rushing out of the office furious.

Another e mail was to David's best friend, Dino.

I would love to meet sometime, but I am not sure how we would do that.

I am not sure what David wants...I don't even know what I want. I see the way David and his family see me and I am not sure that I can ever have the same relationship with them again. From the sounds of it, David would be happier without me...apparantly, I took away his confidence and strength.

My brother offered for me to live with him until i get started on my feet...how cool would it be to live in California!!

I do love you and always will!

Aimee

Dino wrote:

Aimee,

Hello, thanks for writing back. You have a way of sending goosebumps

through me like nobody has ever done. I am, and always will be in love with

you big time. Things happen in life for a reason, I truly believe it, and

we weren't meant to see where things could go, but it doesn't stop me from

loving you and dreaming about you. Is there any chance I could see you

again sometime, or would that be too weird for you ???? I'll always be

your friend. I may not tell people I"m in contact with you for now ( I hope

you don't mind), but that won't be forever. I have always felt bad that I

made a play for my best friends wife, but when I'm near you I can't resist

you and its like nobody else is there, if that makes any sense.

I know David still thinks there is a chance between you two. I can't

explain the coldness you sensed, but I'm a believer of senses. I know for

example that you and I could feel the chemistry big time when we were

together and everyone else is oblivious, so I know what you mean by sensing

the coldness. You and David are 2 people I care about deeply and want to be

happy, however that comes about.

I can understand why you would flee the state. The FBI sounds cool.

I'm sure you will have a lot of options whatever you choose. It would be

weird for you to be gone though, even though I only saw you a few times a

year anyway. :(

As for the baby, if its a girl it is going to be Suzanne. If its

a boy we don't know yet, lol. It's exciting though.

One other thing that I can only really talk about with you, lol. I am

craving cock really bad, lol. It's been about a year since my "experience",

and I hadn't really desired it since then, but I have an itch, lol. What do

you think ? Am I bad ? You have any friends up there who would let me suck

them off ? LOL ... You can watch if you want, LOL. I"m sorry, I digress.

Anyway, we can keep in touch if you want. If this is too awkward let me know.

Love,

Dino

p.s. My definition of passion is shaped by moments around you. Thanks. :)

He then begins to plan meeting with her in the following e mail:

Hey beautiful,

Hi, how are you ? Its me again, being my usual pain in the ass, lol.

Regarding how we can meet and be together......here are my thoughts:

One of these weekends I'll be going up to Chicago to actually go out with David ( Very ironic). I'll go up Friday after school but only go out with David on Friday or Saturday......anyway that means we can spend the other night together if you were interested. If your place doesn't work we could stay at a hotel.....just a thought. Also I will be up on Thursday May 8th to catch a flight on Friday for my brother's wedding, and returning that Monday early evening............so Thursday or Monday nights are times wecould be together...............Anyhoo, these are a few ideas, let me know if they suck. LOL

Hope all is well.

Love ya and thinking of ya,

Dino

I was very hurt. Aimee told me how important I was, and that she would never cheat on me, and there were e-mails like this from multiple guys. I showed this to her roommate, and we both agreed that she had some serious problems. I felt like she had both David and I on a string. I decided I would confront David face to face with the alcoholism and Aimee's behavior. I knew my relationship with Aimee would be over if I did this, but we both felt like Aimee needed serious help. We both had no clue who this person even was anymore.

I drove over to David's office. It was honestly the longest drive of my life. I almost backed out, but I really felt like both of us needed to move on with our lives. We were both caught up in this web of deceit.

I introduced myself to David. I told him about my past with Aimee. I told him things I thought he should know about Aimee, and didn't, including the drinking the e mails. Tracy continued by telling David that Amy told her that when Amy got pregnant a few months piro that it wasn't Davids, but it was the salesman from OKC. He asked what we should do, and I thought we should get her help with her drinking because I felt it was leading to some very serious issues. David was a nice guy, and with the exception of a couple of misunderstandings I still think that. I think he was played and still being played. I felt really bad after meeting him, because he wasn't this jerk that Aimee sometimes painted him out to be.

U2 - One

Is it getting better

Or do you feel the same

Will it make it easier on you now

You got someone to blame

You say...

One love

One life

When it's one need

In the night

One love

We get to share it

Leaves you baby if you

Don't care for it

Did I disappoint you

Or leave a bad taste in your mouth

You act like you never had love

And you want me to go without

Well it's...

Too late

Tonight

To drag the past out into the light

We're one, but we're not the same

We get to

Carry each other

One...

Have you come here for forgiveness

Have you come to raise the dead

Have you come here to play Jesus

To the lepers in your head

Did I ask too much

More than a lot

You gave me nothing

Now it's all I got

We're one

But we're not the same

Well we

Hurt each other

Then we do it again

You say

Love is a temple

Love a higher law

Love is a temple

Love the higher law

You ask me to enter

But then you make me crawl

And I can't be holding on

To what you got

When all you got is hurt

One love

One blood

One life

You got to do what you should

One life

With each other

Sisters

Brothers

One life

But we're not the same

We get to

Carry each other

One...life

One

The Trophy: Chapter 20, Valentines Day

2008-12-20T00:08:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day was coming, and Aimee wanted a romantic Valentine's Day. She often complained of her last Valentine's Day, and how it was spent watching the Pittsburgh Penguins game. I was planning something very special for her.

Aimee at first seemed comfortable in the apartment. Things were going well there for her at first. She sent me this e mail just a few days after moving in.

From: Aimee

Date: Monday, February 03, 2003 01:08:00 PM

To: Lane

Subject: Hey

Hey baby! Thanks for all your help in moving and getting your friends to help out. You have given me so much support and strength.

I am exhausted today...physically worn out, but I know I made the right decision by moving out. I love that apartment and what we all did to it.

I hope you feel at home there, too...it is yours as well.

I love you so much and it feels good to be able to move forward with our dreams. It feels so real now.

I love you so much.

Aimee

As we were settling into the apartment, Aimee's roommate brought up a bottle of peppermint schnapps to mix with her cocoa. It was this time that I realized the drinking was going on on an almost daily basis. I would confront Aimee, and she promised me that she had been good. She said she was proud of herself. However, the schnapps bottle was being emptied and replaced at an alarming rate. To make it look like it wasn't, she would open up the second bottle and start drinking from it to make it look like the first bottle wasn't going down. Since Aimee's roommate had just discovered she was pregnant, she wasn't drinking it.

Aimee's behavior was getting hard to deal with. She was short with the both of us, sometimes verbally abusive. Her roommate had just gotten a dog, and there was jealousy there too. Aimee was making a spectacle out of herself. We went to pick up the dog at O'Hare. Her roommate was excited. She let us both hold the dog, but quickly wanted her new dog back. Aimee in a very evil voice leaned over and said this is killing me, referring to not being able to hold the dog. Tension was building slowly in the apartment, and it would eventually blow. One day Aimee called me upset telling me that Tracy had asked her to look after the dog. Aimee decided that meant taking the dog to her clients house in Elgin. Once the roommate called and found this out, she asked Aimee to take the dog home. She never intended Aimee to take the dog out of the house. We would later find out that Aimee would take both of Tracy's dogs, Xander and Tyson, to David's office while visiting to David.

I noticed her breath more and more. It got to a point where Aimee wouldn't even give me the kisses that she so wanted when we met. She knew each time we kissed, I knew.

I still wanted to let her know how special Valentine's Day was, and that I was celebrating with her. She awoke to candy, champagne, champagne glasses with hearts on them, and a ruby ring I bought her. She had gifts for me as well. We both had to go to work, but we were going to get off early. We went to dinner that night at J. Alexanders. I then told her I had a surprise for her. I drove her to the city, to Michigan Avenue. We walked to the famous water tower, and I placed her in a carriage. Tommy was the horse that pulled the carriage that night, and Aimee felt so sorry for him because it was cold outside. We went for a carriage ride around the city. Holding each other, trying to stay warm, but it didn't feel as close as it used to. We went for tea afterwards, and she bought A Big Fat Greek Wedding on DVD. We spent the rest of the evening watching it.

I really felt the drinking was causing her to push away, because I was getting too involved. There would be nights that I would confront her. She would break down and cry because she was scared that she couldn't control it. I would hold her, and try to build her up. She continued to drink though, waking up in the middle of the night. I would wake too some nights, and keep an eye on her. This irritated her, but I was just worried about her. It wasn't only putting stress on my relationship, but her roommate would ask me if she was doing anything wrong. I usually sided with the roommate on these matters. Aimee would say very bitter things like I hate it when she is her. I felt really bad for her roommate, because she was being such a good friend just by moving in.

Aimee would get very sick the following weekend. I tried to be there for her, but there was too much going on at the apartment. Tyson, Tracy's boyfriend's dog was over as was Caesar and Sabrina (Aimee's dogs). This was causing a lot of stress on everyone. Aimee was sick, and I tried to be good to her, but the dogs were upsetting my mood. I would make her soup and Gatorade, but she didn't think it was enough. Our first real fight broke out, and it almost ended things. It did get us back on track though, or so I thought. We became closer. Aimee and Lane were back. We got out of our funk. We went over the apartment complex's hot tub one night with a bottle of champagne, and we made love in the hot tub. It was a building that featured a glass room for the swimming pool and hot tub. I am sure people saw us as they drove to their apartments. These were the things that we did best together. The passion started coming back. We even started to think about having a baby. I was hoping that would cause her to take better care of herself.

From: Aimee

Date: Thursday, March 06, 2003 18:24:38

To: Lane

Subject: Re: I Love You

You will be the best daddy and hubby ever...

I am off the pill...so we will wait and see what the future holds for us.

Tracy has said she is jealous of what we have and said 'at least you have a guy that loves you!'.

She and I talked alot about kids...she is worried about getting her hair cut and stuff....UGH!!! I want to be pregnant!!!

Thank you for being here for me all week...you are my best friend!!!

Aimee

Lane wrote:

I will do the same for you too. I want to be the best hubby and the best daddy I can be.

I love you very much.

I am off to Birthday shopping.

Lane

-------Original Message-------

From: Aimee

Date: Thursday, March 06, 2003 17:54:52

To: Lane Bowler

Subject: Re: I Love You

I have a feeling we will bring a child in this world...I promise I will be a devoted and loving mommy...and I will take care of myself from here on out for our baby!!!

Thanks for lunch!!!

I love you!

Lane wrote:

I love you more than anything in this world. Your love brings me great happiness, and it would be beautiful for us to bring children into this world.

Love,

Lane

-------Original Message-------

From: Aimee

Date: Thursday, March 06, 2003 17:39:17

To: Lane

Subject: I Love You

Hey....I love You!!!

You want my baby???

Sabrina, Aimee's dog that David gave to her for graduating from Aurora University would become sick one day. Aimee was very busy, and trying to catch up the work she missed from being sick the week before. I told Aimee I would take Sabrina to the vet. I took off work early one day, and ran home to get Sabrina. I sat at the vet for almost three hours why they took a look at her. They took x-rays and reviewed them with me. Sabrina had swallowed something, and they were hoping she would pass it through. They wanted to see her in a couple of days to take more x-rays. Aimee came home from the vet, telling me that David was there with her. She said she was scared that the vet would slip and say something about me being there a couple days earlier. Just another sign to me that Aimee wanted to keep David on a string. I would visit a client a couple of weeks later in Rockford, IL. That same day, the apartment complex staff was needing to come into the building to do an annual inspection. I would take both Caesar and Sabrina with me to Rockford. I took both dogs for a walk in the park, and we went to McDonalds where they each had a hamburger. Aimee would write to David that she took the dogs to Elgin with her. I always liked Caesar. He was like a little Marine. Aimee would call them my step children.

The Trophy: Chapter 19, The Phone Call

2008-12-19T00:00:00.000-08:00

I tried to be supportive in this period of time to Aimee. I loved her very much. I was very worried about her. Alcoholism runs in her family, and I was worried that the woman I love was going to fall. She was always afraid that I was disappointed in her. I wasn't. I was concerned for her. She was always worried that her family was disappointed in her, and she hated feeling like she disappointed people. I always tried to build her up, even after we would go through the drinking episodes.

It was early in January that I received a phone call on my cell phone. I answered the phone, "Hello, this is Lane." I always answer this way in case it's a business call. They hung up. I suddenly feared that I was found out about. It was a relief though too. I called Aimee up, and told her about the call. I just suspected that it was David. She said not to worry. Aimee never hid her phone records from him, and I am sure there were literally hundreds of calls to my number over the past few months. During my visit to the house in Sweetened Grove in October, there was an opened AT&T bill on the island of their kitchen. I quickly glanced at it while Aimee was upstairs. There were many calls to my number in the itemized billing section. I was to find out later that David was going through Aimee's phone records trying to find her Tracy's phone number, who Aimee told him that she was staying with while she was at my place. She also told David and other family members that it was Tracy who she was spending Thanksgiving with.

A couple of days later, my worst fear was confirmed. David confronted Aimee about me. He asked who's Lane, and why is he telling you that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. Aimee also mentioned to me that he knew about Thanksgiving, and me picking her up at the airport. Aimee had gotten careless by leaving some of her history of the websites she visited in the computer. One happened to be a Hallmark card I sent her. Aimee told me that she said that I was just a friend that she met from someone she went to school with at Aurora University (my ex-girlfriend also was a student of social work at Aurora University), and supposedly slapped David somewhere in this conversation. I later found out as well that David confronted her about alcohol as well. Aimee ran back to my place crying. She basically moved in with me. Some nights David would stay with his family or his friend Paul, and she would go to the house to be with the dogs.

I was actually relieved thinking that now the divorce process would go forward, but it didn't. Davids e-mails were of denial of any wrong doing on Aimee's apart. David began throwing books at the situation, trying to diagnose Aimee's condition. This just upset Aimee at first, and later on she joked about it saying her library was being built quickly.

Aimee was now in search for a new place to live. She felt like it was finally over. She asked her best friend to move in with her. All three of us started looking for apartments. This process took about three weeks. I had no intention on moving in with Aimee. This was Aimee's idea. She sold it to her friend, and she asked me to move in saying we could save money so we can get to our dreams quicker. Our dream was to leave Chicago, and move to a warmer climate. We had picked Dallas, TX because it was almost exactly in the middle of where our parents lived, almost exactly 400 miles either way. Aimee would e-mail me pictures of houses that she would find for us. So the plan became for me to move in here with the two of them, and then we would move south in April of 2004. Her friend was fine with it. Aimee also had a plan to get a pot bellied pig too.

Aimee visited the Ann Arbors on January 14th with me, and we both loved it. We just needed to show it to Tracy. She loved it too. They signed the lease to the Naperville apartment at the end of January. They signed it and figured out what the rent would be when I moved in April. They knew it was an expensive place, but the three of us could easily afford it. I asked many of my friends to help move her out, and my friends Ryan and Jay drove up from Ohio to help. They did, and showed up after our paint party on January 31. The next day, we got a U-haul and started moving out just minutes after the second space shuttle disaster. Aimee was worried David would show up, but it was his trusty neighbor that filled him in with all the details.

That weekend we moved in. We painted the apartment. We decorated the apartment. I donated a lot of my stuff over to the new apartment to save them money, and prevent doubling up on stuff that we already had. They didn't have a lot to put on the walls, so I offered my lighthouse stuff to decorate it with. Aimee even e-mailed me letting me know that she wanted me to know the apartment was mine too.

Of course you can decorate silly...it will be yours come April, you know! I am fine with the clock in the kitchen area...I am just always worried it will wake me up if its in the bedroom, like it does now. My Grandparents had a clock like that...and it woke me up all the time...

I will see what Tracy's view is of lighthouses.

Aimee

-------Original Message-------

From: Lane

Date: Monday, January 20, 2003 08:19:59 AM

To: Aimee

Subject: decorating

Dear Aimee,

Please know you are welcome to anything in my current

apartment to help decorate with. The way I look at

it, I will be starting my move in March. That way, I

can have that apartment cleaned up very easily by the

29th of April. I will be putting most of my stuff in

storage. If Tracy wants to decorate in Lighthouses,

then feel free to use my stuff. It is fine with me.

I know you have a couple of lighthouse paintings in

your house as well.

There are just a couple of things that I would like to

decorate with. The clock, and that can go in the

kitchen area. The lighthouse shelf as well. Those

are two special things my parents did for me.

I love you,

Lane

She was finally out of David's house, and it felt good to finally have her to myself. Aimee even asked me where she could sell her old engagement ring at, and one weekend in early February we went to James and Son's where Aimee sold the wedding set. I was surprised at quickly she wanted to do this. She didn't know where James and Son's was at in Orland Park, so we drove down there together. I liked the place instantly with the Brett Hull autographs on the wall from his days with the Blues. It was mounted right next to an autograph picture of his father, Bobby Hull. They took the ring to do an appraisal. She received around $2200 for the set. I had estimated that is probably what they would give her. She was upset by it, and asked me what I thought. Knowing the mark up in jewelry, I did the math for her and told her how the mark up works. She decided to take the money. Even after selling the ring, e-mails to David left him dangling. Aimee is very good about dangling you just far enough out, so that she can easily reel you back in. I was finding this out.

The Trophy: Chapter 18, Aimee, Hamsters, and Neosporin

2008-12-18T00:00:00.000-08:00

On Fridays nights, we would sometimes go to the pet store on Randall Road to pet and hold dogs. We would pet Labs, Great Danes, Cocker Spaniels, Italian Greyhounds, and other breeds. Aimee one night found her playing with hamsters. She thought they were so cute, and I could tell she wanted one.

A couple of days later, on a Tuesday, after she was done seeing clients in Elgin, she would call me to tell me she bought us some hamsters. She was so excited about it, but she was also frustrated because she couldn't get the cage constructed. She asked me if I would help her with the cage.

I drove over to Davids's house. This time, I would pull up by their mailbox, which I would from here on out. I went to the front door, and she let me in. We went to the kitchen, where there was a large hamster cage in pieces. Aimee asked me in a slurred tone if I was mad at her for getting the hamsters. I could tell she was drinking. I told her I wasn't upset. She kept making sure I wasn't upset. I put the cage together, which had a crack in it. I am not sure if it came that way, or in her drunken state that she put too much force on it. She called them our first pets. We each got to name one of them. She named the white a gray hamster Alice. Jay and our New Years Eve Party was still fresh in her mind. Jay believed he was actually talking to the pop singer Alice Peacock online, and that they had fallen in love. Aimee would listen to Jay for hours babble about their love story. I named the reddish tan hamster Tori.

The hamsters wound up staying with me at my apartment. Aimee was living there most of the time too, although she was telling David and her family that she was living with friends, mainly Tracy. I brought the hamsters home, and placed them upon my breakfast bar of my studio apartment. One night Alice would get loose, and wind up in the apartment next door. While watching a movie together one night, the next door neighbor knocked on my door. I opened it, and the lady asked us in a white trash voice if we had a mouse, because she had one running around in her apartment driving her cat crazy. Aimee and I were disgusted by the lady, and we would make fun of her and play practical jokes on her during my remaining stay there. The neighbor next to her caught Alice, and we had her back in the cage that night.

The hamsters made the move into our new apartment in Naperville. Alice and Tori constantly fought for territory and food. Tori was always beating up on Alice. One morning, Aimee called me in tears over Alice. She said Alice was bleeding heavily, and she was afraid for Alice. She asked me if I would go and buy another cage for the hamsters. I told her I would. Aimee would put Neosporin on the hamsters wounds in fear they were going to die. This would become a joke among a few people at the apartment.

Of course, there was the e-mails to David. Aimee called these our pets, but yet David got an earful about our new pets. It seemed he knew so much of what we did, but I was somehow edited out of the story.

I realized something with the hamsters though. The only time Aimee understood unconditional love was with animals. She had no clue that it could exist among people. She felt safe among animals, and her collection of animals was starting to grow.

The Trophy: Chapter 17, New Years Eve and Vodka

2008-12-17T00:00:00.000-08:00

From: Aimee

Date: Thursday, December 26, 2002 02:51:07 PM

To: Lane

Subject: Re: Re:

Every cell in my body needs you....in every way....we need not waste time on Sunday...lets get down to personal business as soon as possible!

I apologize that you have created this animal in me...its you and ony you that I have wanted sexually like this. I want you day and night...all the time...I have NEVER wanted or suggested we spend all day naked in bed...but I NEED TO WITH YOU!!!!!

We need to see Ryan for NYE, that will be fun...but before he arrives and after he leaves...we will be naked!!!!

I will be spending Monday NIght at home with my puppies and cat...I need mammels!!!! I will come over NYE morning....ok? I miss my puppies so badly! Thank God Beth's Dad brought his puppy on Christmas Eve....I held him the whole time. Paula is so much like me...she llloovvvvvvesssssssss animals! Her and I spend the entire night playing with the puppy.

Beth is not a mammel lover...she has always bred animals for food...YUCK!!! She and he parrot love each other, but the parrot hates Brian and I.

I have so much to share with you. I took pictures just to show you. You are my world!

Talk to your Mom...it will awhile until you see her again. Its important you lay your feelings out there.

I love you and you are my very best friend and lover!!

Aimee

Aimee always told me how important holidays were for her, and how disappointed she was in marriage with the parties. She said David was a recluse that would rather sit at a computer than be with her during social events. She said she brought in one year with her old boyfriend Gary, and David was off asleep and didn't care. We always handled these situations better. We decided to throw a New Years Eve party at my place.

Aimee invited some of her friends, and I invited many of my friends, including Ryan and Jay from Ohio. I cooked dinner for everyone, and we all sat, played games, got to know each other better, and toasted at midnight. We also found out who Alice Peacock was, and Jay's infatuation with her. Aimee was very intrigued by this. Jay claimed to have met Alice Peacock online, and has had an online romance with the recording artist.

It was New Years Day that Aimee began talking to my best friend Ryan about the possibility of eloping. She asked him if she could count on him if we decided to go to Las Vegas to get married. She wanted to bring my best friend, and either Tracy or Lisa to go with us. We were at Gino's East Pizzeria on Washington Street in Naperville on New Years Day. Aimee began discussing the rules of the bachelor party with Ryan. Ryan was amused by it, but he knew I wouldn't allow too much at the party in the first place. Ryan and Jay headed back to Chillicothe, OH after eating Pizza. On they way back up to the apartment, Aimee started to cry. She didn't think Ryan liked her, and we spent the next hour getting over that.

>From: Aimee

>To: Lane

>Subject: Re: Good Day

>Date: Tue, 5 Nov 2002 22:26:31 -0800 (PST)

>I am so happy that your day has gone much better today...seems your

>confidence is back up. It must be hard being the new guy on the block in

>your business...I guess it is hard anywhere.

>Thank you for the wonderful, romantic dinner tonight...YUMMY!! You looked

>HOT tonight...I couldn't stop looking at you! The movie was excellent,

>too...good choice!

>You will not be able to keep your hands off me in my wedding dress...its

>beautiful and sexy!!! ;)

>I look forward to seeing you tommorrow and sharing my 'secret love' with

>Lisa, after all, she is our maid of honor!

>I love you and good night!

>Aimee

Our new year together was beginning, but things weren't perfect. I often reflected with Ryan that if she didn't present David with papers by February 1, that I would be leaving. My heart was hurting, and I was keeping my guard up. There were many nights that I couldn't sleep. I would wake up in the middle of the night, and not be able to get back to sleep. The worst was yet to come.

The year started off with lots of trauma. I invited Aimee over for fajitas one night. She showed up very drunk. She took a one bite of the fajitas, and said she felt like she was going to throw up. I asked her what was wrong, and she said she thought the chicken was bad. She then spent the next fifteen minutes throwing up. I knew it wasn't the chicken. Her actions were slow and over animated. Her speech was slurred and silly. It really saddened me to see her doing this to herself, especially since I had a warning that this was a problem in her life. She got off work at 6:00 that night, and it was just 7:30. Either she had been drinking at work, or she drank a hell of a lot in a very short period of time. I became the typical victim of someone who is in a relationship with an alcoholic. I felt I could be the knight in shining armor, but I also felt guilt. She asked to lay down, and I carried her over to my bed. She lied down. I told her I was going to get her some medicine, but she just wanted me to stay and hold her. I told her I could take her to the emergency room, but she didn't want that. I tried everything to get her to admit to me that she was drinking. I called my friend Jeremy up, and asked him if he would stop by the store and get some things for Aimee's nausea. He drove down from Wood Dale in order to help out. He called when he got to my apartment, and said he didn't want to come up if it was the flu. I met him downstairs. I asked him to follow me to the garage. We opened up Aimee's car, and there in the backpack that she always protected its contents with extreme guard was a large bottle of vodka. There was also a receipt in the car that showed that she bought the alcohol during working hours. It was purchased just after 2:30 at the Osco up the road from where she worked. My heart sank in sadness for her. I rushed back up to her, and held her. After she started to sober up a bit, I just came out and asked her if she had been drinking. She denied it by asking me if that is what I think of her. She started to get dressed, and I blocked the door. I told her she wasn't going to drive in this shape. She demanded that I get out of the way, and physically tried to push me, before breaking down and crying to me. She began to admit that she had been drinking. She said she was having problems sleeping, and was using it to help her sleep. However, it was three or four hours before bedtime. I knew in the back of my mind this was denial. I told her I wasn't disappointed in her, and that I cared very much for her.

The next morning, I called her best friend. I told her about what had happened, and asked if she ever suspected that Aimee was drinking and had alcoholic tendencies. Her friend suspected there were some issues. I asked her to keep this knowledge quiet and help me help Aimee. She said she would, and this was the real start of our friendship.

I wrote this e mail the following day.

From: Lane

Date: Tuesday, January 14, 2003 07:53:02

To: Aimee

Subject: Hi

Dear Aimee,

I know it is however unlikely that you will be checking your other e mail accounts today, so I decided to e mail you here.

I want you to know I dearly love you. That hasn't changed. I am very concerned for you. I care so deeply about you. I want you in my life. I want to be your friend. I want to be everything we have dreamed of. I need you to know that because I am concerned, doesn't mean I am disappointed or that I look down upon you. I need you to know that I am here for you. I always have been. That might seem like an alien idea, but the fact is that I love you and do care for you. I only want you to find strength. Reach out to me if you need to. Let me hold you when you need it. I know you are going through a tough time in your life, but my friendship to you is worth so much more than turning to other means. I promise I will be your friend. I will love you like I always have. I need you to know that. Please don't continue to hurt like this. Find strength in me and our love that we, together, can overcome and become stronger.

I love you,

Lane

Two nights later, she came over again. She wasn't as in bad shape, but I could tell she had been drinking again. I told her I needed to run out to my car. I went down to the garage, and found another bottle of Vodka in the same backpack, this was a different bottle. It was with a green label, and the first one was with a red label. This time, Aimee came rushing into the garage to catch me digging in her car. She was very upset with me. She drove off, and then she returned about an hour later. We talked and held each other. The tension was continuing to build in our relationship, and I wanted to save Aimee from herself. It became my mission. It became a very unhealthy way of life for me. I spoke with a therapist after the first incident, and I wish I had done what she had told me to do.

The Trophy: Chapter 16, Christmas Apart

2008-12-16T00:01:00.000-08:00

Watching Aimee walk through airport security to fly to her brother's home, and not being able to go to the gate was one of the loneliest feelings I have known. I wanted so badly to be with her for Christmas. We made a promise to each other. For Thanksgiving next year, we would spend it with her family, although, they didn't even know I existed, and for Christmas, we would spend it at my families. I walked away watching go through security. I had to meet an associate in about an hour. I went into holiday depression knowing she was going to be 2000 miles away.

I left for Missouri that evening, because I didn't want to spend a lonely night at my apartment.

All we had was phone calls. She was feeling lonely too. She said she didn't feel wanted at her brother's house when she would call. Our phone calls weren't uplifting like they had been. She was down and out, and so was I. It was hard to be that far apart and needing to be held by each other so badly. I tried calling her brother's house a couple of times using the fax machine, hoping to send her a message if they looked at the caller id. I wanted her to call, so I could cheer her up. E mail wasn't working. However, they just hung up. I guess there was this mystery as to why they were getting calls from Missouri. I just wanted to be cheered up and cheer Aimee up.

While in Missouri, I spent some time bonding with my dad. Aimee loved scrapbooking, and my mom always did scrapbooks for my sisters and I. My dad made me a chest to protect my scrapbooks, and Aimee loved it. I asked my dad if he would make one with me. So we made one. We even personalized it for Aimee by upholstering the lid with a Holstein print. Aimee and I has started our own scrapbook about a month earlier. I wanted Aimee to take it home. She was worried about explaining where it came from. I told her just tell anyone it came from a craft fair. She couldn't do that because she would frequently visit craft fairs with David's mom. We went to a craft fair right before Thanksgiving together at the Odeon. Aimee was cold the whole time we were there because she was worried about running into David's family, and she didn't want us to appear like a couple.

I came back from Missouri a couple of days before Aimee got home. I began putting together a homecoming she would never forget. I went out and bought 100 candles. I repeated the picnic we had in the forest preserve, so I packed the basket with treats. We had been dating now for just over 100 days, and I made one big Hershey Kiss out of a bunch of Hershey Kisses that represented each day that I loved Aimee. Before I lit, I laid out a path of rose petals into my apartment. I lit over 100 candles, and I left them burning as I went to the airport. I was lucky to have an apartment when we returned.

I was so nervous. We were so down while she was in California. As I waited for her in the baggage claim area at O'Hare, I talked on my phone with my friend Mike from Ohio to pass time. We joked what if David shows up too. Finally, she came down the escalator into baggage claim. We embraced and kissed. I was actually nervous that David might be around, since he had e mailed her wanting her itinerary. This was the perfect opportunity to get caught. We rushed off out of the airport and back to my place. Somehow, he did know that I picked her up.

There she was greeted with the candle lit apartment, that was full of romance. We had an indoor picnic on the floor very similar the our first picnic. I wanted her to know how much I missed her and loved her. That night we made love and held each other close. We both needed each other.

During this trip, I did check into her e mail. She was talking to David about a problem she was trying to deal with. I wasn't sure what it was, but I suspected alcoholism. It hurt me to find this out, and I began being on the watch for it, since I suspected that she had been drinking on more than one occasion before coming to my apartment. My fears were proven when I later found an order from Amazon.com for a guide to getting off alcohol by yourself.

One of her e mails to David was about getting together to exchange gifts and going out for Christmas dinner. I was hurt by this, but I also understood it.

The Trophy: Chapter 15, Our Christmas

2008-12-15T00:00:00.000-08:00

I picked Aimee up at the airport, and it was good to hold her. We both needed to see each other. We went back to my place and made love. Then she had to rush back to her house. I was really hurt by this. I hadn't seen her in four days, and I wanted to hold her all night. Of course, in the back of my mind was some of the e mails I read, and I began to wonder how much of our relationship was real.

We were going to spend our Christmas on the 18th. The next day I was to drop her off at the airport so she could spend Christmas at her brother Brian's.

I was very excited to have Aimee over on the 18th. This was Christmas as far as I was concerned. I decorated the place very romantically. I had candles lit, and a rose on her plate. I placed little cards on the plates. Hers said, "The man who cooked you dinner tonight loves you, and wishes to love you forever." The card on my plate simply said, "The man who cooked you dinner tonight." I had once stuffed fortune cookies for a Chinese meal that I cooked at Davids and Aimee's house while he was out of town. They had similar messages in them.

During our bed and breakfast weekend, Aimee said she wish I had an engagement ring to wear so the world would know I was hers. I had an idea that we should both wear pinky rings, until after her divorce, since she wasn't wearing the engagement ring that I bought her for fear that David would find out. I presented her the pinky rings before dinner, and we wore them every day from here on out. Aimee lost hers while she was at her brothers house in California, but her sister in law found it.

We ate dinner, held each other, exchanged the personal gift. Aimee had put together a basket with a present for each day that she was gone. I was to open one in numeric order, and they were romantic gifts that reminded her of us. My gift to Aimee was a framed version of the poem I wrote her. I had gotten a picture of her mom off a website that David coincidentally works for, and had it enlarged by Yahoo picture services. I had two made, and she said she gave the other to her brother Brian. While we were in Missouri, I took her favorite picture of her mom and her and had it enlarged. She said it was the most beautiful gift ever given to her. It was recently taken apart, and taken off of her wall. I put it back together and rehung it, but she took it down and took the pictures out leaving only the poem.

After we opened up gifts, we made love and held each other knowing our time was short. I took her to the airport the next day, after we had breakfast at Omega's.

The Trophy: Chapter 14, Thanksgiving in Missouri and the Jonny Lee Urban Cowboy Nightmare

2008-12-14T00:01:00.001-08:00

From: Aimee

Date: Sunday, November 24, 2002 20:59:41

To: Lane

Subject: Re: Winter Workouts

Thank you so much for all you are to me...you treat me like no other...not even my own family! You probably have no idea all the things you do for me...open doors...take heavy packages from me...look at me with such love...sit close to me...touch me constantly...hold me close...kiss my neck, even with others around...

I had fun today...because you and me can be US around Tom and Meghan.

I love you more today then ever...you surprise me daily...

and I am soooooooooooo incredibly attracted to you...can you tell???

YOUR THE BEST!!!

I can't wait to meet your family and show them you are loved and wanted...and treated good. I will be myself, and they will see it in the way I lok at you and talk about you. You are ONLY good and wonderful in my eyes, so there is nothing but praise and compliments about you coming out of my mouth!

Love

Aimee

It was just prior to Thanksgiving that I started to notice subtle changes in Aimee. When I kissed her, I would sense alcohol on her breath. I didn't say anything at this point. I just let it go thinking it might be mouthwash or something.

Thanksgiving was coming soon, and Aimee was invited to Missouri to my family's Thanksgiving celebration. We left on Tuesday for Missouri. The road trip was a blast. We talked about us, we listened to songs that were special to us, and we saw lots of cows who gained our applause.

We finally arrived in the little small town that I grew up in. I introduced her to my parents. We spent the next day going to my sisters new house, and showing Aimee where I grew up.

Thanksgiving morning found Aimee in an unusual spot. I was in charge of the Thanksgiving turkey, and Aimee was my co-pilot. We helped make Thanksgiving dinner for my family.

Dinner was good. It was later in the afternoon that I caught something that was very disturbing. Aimee was in my childhood room talking to David. It really hurt me in so many ways, and then to make matters worse, my dad walked in the room while she was talking to him. I was very nervous and hurt. I was becoming very confused about so many things. Aimee would tell me that no one ever treated her as good as I did. She would tell me that no one ever loved her like I did. She would claim that she had never been happier, and yet she would say I don't know why I can't move forward with my divorce. This would hurt me. She once said that David would take her back no matter what. I honestly started to think that maybe this was all a game. That maybe she enjoyed the attention she was getting from the both of us. My mind was getting curious, and my heart was on a roller coaster. I would spend hours with my friend Mike on the phone trying to figure all these emotions out. Mike said hang in there, that she would come around eventually. I was really having my doubts. Aimee kept promising to go by the courthouse to get divorce papers. I eventually picked them up for her, and they sat in her car for weeks without any progress. If I was such a revelation to this woman's life, then why would they sit.

The day after Thanksgiving was spent in Branson, MO. We did some shopping at an outlet mall. We had a nice lunch at the Outback Steak and Oyster Bar. We then went to the Country Tonight theatre, where Country not so legend Johnny Lee pointed Aimee and I out in the crowd for not clapping to one of his lame songs. We were both very embarrassed. I think this was the first time that we realized our sense of humor was exactly the same. Later that night, we went to Silver Dollar City.

From: Aimee

Date: Sunday, December 01, 2002 22:51:17

To: Lane

Subject: Re: Missing you

I miss you, too...I wish we lived together...I feel so close to you in everyway after this weekend. Thank you for taking me to Thanksgiving with your family...I had a wonderful time and have fallen even MORE in love with you!

I love you!

Aimee

Another e mail from Aimee right after Thanksgiving.

From: Aimee

Date: Sunday, December 01, 2002 22:59:07

To: Lane

Subject: Re: TG Holiday

Well...Sharon will be invited to our wedding! Did you tell her we were engaged?

I am glad our friends like the other...its important, as friends really look at the other to see if they are good enough for their friend.

I have heard that you can tell alot about a relationship by the way you can travel together...especially in a car. We are AMAZING...we had so much fun and really talked...no sleeping! Davids sister-in-law WILL NOT travel in a car...which makes his brother sad, which says alot about their relationship. I had a BLAST with ou and feel closer to you then ever. There is NO DOUBT you and I will be togther forever...one day soon, we will be having to stop, so I can nurse our baby. :)

You are so incredible and made me feel so important and loved in front of your friends and family...thank you for that. Thank you for not holding back. You were perfect in everyway to me this week.

I love you more then ever!!

Thank you GOD for bringing Lane to me...I KNEW there was true love and my best friend all in one...THANK YOU!!!

Aimee

Lane wrote:

Dear Aimee,

I was sad to see you go this evening. After a whole week together, but apart in terms of real intimacy, I would have really loved another night together to lay next to you and hold you. The week together was perfect though with the exception that I couldn't fall asleep next to you.

I can't even begin to tell you how excited I was to introduce you to my other world. You are the woman that I plan on spending the rest of my life with, and letting my family and friends know that and meet you was such a great feeling. I can't express enough how much this past week meant to me.

I have heard many people complain about not being able to carry a conversation across town with their partner, let alone an entire road trip. Well, in the past 31 days, we have had four high mileage days on the road together, accumulating over 1500 (half way across the country) miles of driving together, and a majority of those miles have been a blast. I love travelling with you. I love looking at cows and clapping, kissing while we drive down the road, talking about our future, and stopping to go peeps with you. We really do have a lot of fun together, and you just have to look at these times on the road to realize how special our relationship is.

I really am glad you went with me for the holiday. I know meeting the parents is a big step in any relationship, especially when they live so far apart. I think that makes it an even bigger step. I even surprised myself at just how loving I was in front of them. I was very open about my feelings for you in front of them. It felt really good to put it out there for my family and friends to see, and know that they understood what we are about when I left. Welcome to my family. I will keep working on making you a full member and always welcome there. You are my world now, and now my family and friends know.

I spoke with Sharon tonight. She really likes you a lot. She said she thought you were very nice and wants us to get married.

Aimee, you are very special to me. I can't tell you that enough. I love you very much.

Lane

The next few weeks were stressful ones with Christmas coming up. We decided to do something from the heart for the holidays, instead of buying lots of gifts for each other.

Our holiday plans were cut short when news of Aimee's grandfather's health turned bad. We were supposed to do all the fun Christmas things that couples do, like ice skate and shop downtown. We just ran out of time. On December 13, I was dropping Aimee off at the airport so she could be with her father in Corpus Christy while his father was ailing. I heard very little from her throughout the trip. She was also distant when she called. I needed her so badly, and yet there seemed to be some stress there. I had many conversations with Mike each night. I thought many times of walking out of her life. I knew she was drinking because of the stress. I knew she wasn't being truthful to either me or David. She had mentioned to me her e mail password once, so I decided to log onto it for answers. What I found was very disturbing. The e mails I found weren't of two people sure about divorcing like she seemed. Yet they were talking about working things out in time. I felt like I was being lied to. I honestly felt like here is someone who likes having me around for romance and passion, but liked having David around because of a good paycheck and a house. She constantly complained that there was no passion in their marriage. That David was into unhealthy sexual addictions that disgusted, and she said she always felt safe around me. With the both of us, she had everything she wanted I felt. In the following e mail, I found out that she lied to me about where she went one night. It was how she signed the e mail that hurt the worse.

I am here safe and sound. Their house is beautiful...its unbelievable anyone lives in it, as it seems like a vacation house. Donna and I went and walked the beach for awhile...the weather is suppossed to be 70 tomorrow.

I am sorry about the other night...I feel I may have said some hurtful things. I am sorry...I do not know what my problem was. Maybe it was just seeing your Mom, and I felt like she was defending you when I was never saying anything badly.

I am so confused...I want alot of what we have...our love, friendshp...laughter...communication...but I am just so confused. I am so sorry, as you do not deserve this. If you set me free, I will understand.

My Grandpa had another stroke today, and he looks terrible...his left lip is sagging down and he was so drugged, he did not recognice me. Yesterday he was hallucinating...seeing ants...talking to a made up friend in the corner...remember how funny it was in Iowa when he saw horses.

I love you and hope you have a fun weekend. Have fun at the show on saturday...its a good show. Try to watch their feet!!!

Love

Your wife

I was so confused about all of this. She was telling him just the opposite of what she had told me. I became very sick this weekend, and I thought about calling David up and asking him to come get his wife's stuff out of my apartment. I actually dialed the number, but Aimee beeped in on my phone as it was ringing. I was miserable the entire time she was gone. I was worried whether or not all of this was real again. I even called her dad's house hoping she would answer. When her dad answered, I asked if Brian was there, and he told me I had the wrong number.

Shortly after Thanksgiving, I received an e mail that was probably amongst the coldest regarding the love triangle that we were caught up in.

From: Aimee

Date: Friday, December 06, 2002 08:35:07

To: Lane

Subject: Re: tonight

What pain has our love caused you? I am sorry you feel I am making a bigger deal out of this then I should...maybe I am.

Lane wrote:

Aimee,

I don't want sympathy. I never asked for it. You asked me a question and I told you how I felt a couple of times about it. I was being honest, and you seem to be bothered by it.

You see, it isn't the fact that I was bothered by Davids birthday, but rather the fact that David didn't quite understand that you were serious about going through with the divorce. I have stood by my position that you have to be honest now and worry about being friends later. I simply brought up the birthday as an example. I am still with you even after the birthday, so you are making a bigger deal out of it than what it really was. I would think it would be a bigger insult had I not been jealous that you went to dinner with him that night. I was more concerned with David possibly going to the cemetary with you. The possibility of that is the "weed" I speak of. Considering who we are together, I believe we both should count on each other to be there for each other in these situations.

I have made this choice, and I have never asked for sympathy. All I asked is how you would handle it. That isn't asking for sympathy. I don't need sympathy. I know I have made a choice, and that choice has been made because I love you, and I know that our love is real. Love comes with pain though. I never have wanted to walk away. I am not leaving you.

I am confused about "acting in front of Tracy." I felt like I was put on the spot there. I wasn't trying to make her laugh about this situation. I was just trying to get through it with you.

I know I am not being forced to be here. I want to be here. I want to marry you and give you my love forever. I have never had doubts about that. I don't need sympathy.

Love,

Lane

-------Original Message-------

From: Aimee

Date: Friday, December 06, 2002 01:18:36

To: Lane

Subject: tonight

Tonight was a wird night...it was cool to see you and Tracy get along, and her agree to you living with us in May....but you and I were strange tonight. I wonder why that is.

You mentioned not wanting 'weeds' or whatever, yet you bring up Davids birthday which was a month ago...never having mentioned it before.

You seem to want me to have sympathy for you in your situation with me. To me, we both made our choices, and we are BOTH damn lucky to have each other. You did not have to stay with me...and you are not bond to me now...you can walk away whenever. I do not have sympathy for anyone involved...you, me and David all made choices to get us where we are....call me cold, but I do not feel sorry for anyone. i will not play the sympathy card for anyone here. I said it tonight...I would not be in this situation had it been reversed. That does not make you or me wrong...it would mean that I would miss out on you. You took that chance and have stuck with me so far. Would I blame you for leaving...no...I wouldn't...but I think you would be stupid. Tracy is one of my closest friends...and you heard her speak of David...what reason would I have for staying?

I feel really weird about us after tonight...why do we have to act like that in front of Tracy? Is this how we will be when we are roommates? Was it an act to make her laugh? I am so confused about the way we acted tonight.

I love you. I want us to work in everyway. I want to marry you. I want to have you children. I want to be Taylor's Auntie...and give him cousins. But you are not bonded to me...you are not forced to be here. You can choose to leave at anytime. It would destroy me, as I feel you and I have REAL love and what it takes....but you are not being forced to remain here with me.

Good night...I will see you tommorrow.

Aimee

Of course when it came to jealousy on the other side of the fence, it was all or nothing with her. Aimee and I are both into photography, and we took a lot of pictures while we were together. Aimee went as far as taking tasteful pictures of us naked holding each other. I wanted to show her some of the great pictures of Washington D.C. that I took from earlier in the year. I set them up in a slide show format using the Windows XP operating system. One by one, the pictures went by. All of a sudden, a picture of my friend Melissa showed up. First of all, I have never dated Melissa. She is a friend from high school. Aimee was upset by the picture, and threw a fit which eventually led her to leaving that night. She did come back and apologize, but her fit was very unnecessary. This happened again a few weeks later when I was going through my RAGBRAI pictures with her. RAGBRAI is a large bicycle ride the last week in July that some friends and I ride every year. My ex-girlfriend Kate rode it with us in 2001, so her picture showed up on the website. Aimee started this you must still care about her if you have her pictures. Isn't this an interesting twist considering what I was going through. What I did next I will regret the rest of my life. I cared so much about Aimee, that I went through my entire computer and all my photo albums and threw out all pictures of girls that I had dated. There were pictures from vacations and trips that dated back over 13 years. Although they didn't mean anything to me, they upset her. I thought it was for the best. Of course, Aimee kept her pictures of Scott Maitland, along with her diary which was kept describing intimate details of that entire relationship. If this guy was as abusive to her as she wanted me to believe then why would she keep these items?

The Trophy: Chapter 13, A Reflection on an Ocean Wave

2008-12-13T00:01:00.000-08:00

A few days after returning from Michigan would be the first time I would see my Aimee sad. I called her on my way to the office one morning. She was on her way to see clients in Elgin. She was in tears, crying in such sadness. I asked her what was wrong. She told me she missed her mom. Her mom had passed away just a few years earlier. We talked about it. She said she was sad, and really needed her. She was upset at David because he wasn't there for her. This alarmed me, but I figured they were probably still friends. I told her to pull over. I told her I wasn't going into the office. I got off the highway, and started to head towards Elgin. I met her at the parking lot. She looked so sad, and I held her. She asked me to take her to the cemetery. I told her I would. She then told me she was sad that she went into Michael's to get some daisies, and they didn't have any. I drove her down to Warrenville, where I knew we could get some daisies. We got the Daisies, and then went to the cemetery on Roosevelt Road. At first we had a hard time finding the site. We found it after looking for about 45 minutes. We walked over the grave site, and she sat there and cried. I held her for over two hours that day. I just listened to her. I learned so much about her and her mom that day. She spoke to her mom at the grave site, and she introduced me. She told her mom at the gravesite that she was in love, and that this was the guy who would give her grandchildren. I was sad that I was never going to get to meet her. Aimee told me that her mom would have loved me, and would have loved how gentile I was with her. I found myself crying. This was the deepest moment in our relationship. We left in peace.

From: Lane

Date: Friday, November 15, 2002 09:28:22 AM

To: Aimee

Subject: Re: Hi

I need to share something with you, and it can't wait until this afternoon. This is important to me, and I have been trying to get ahold of you for the past hour. I need to see you right now. Is that possible.

Love,

Lane

-------Original Message-------

From: Aimee

Date: Friday, November 15, 2002 09:06:15

To: Lane

Subject: Hi

I love you!!! Thank you soooooo much for

yesterday...words can not describe the importance of

yesterday. You were my knight in shining armor...you

were there when I needed you. Thank you...thank

you...thank you!! You put up with endless babbling

about my mom. Its important for me that you know who

she was.

We reached a new level yesterday...a deeper

level...and it feels incredible!

Last night when we made love was the best that we

have ever made

love...intense...loving...gentle...filled with

emotion....and it showed that we are at a new level.

I love you more then ever!!!

Your forever love

Aimee

The next morning I was in the shower, when some words came to me. I immediately went to my computer and started writing the poem about Aimee and her mom called A Reflection On An Ocean Wave. I called her once she got to work. I told her I had to see her, and she had to meet me outside of the Family Counseling Center Of Aurora offices. She was worried when she got into the car. She said if you are going to break up with me, do it now. I told her I wasn't there to break up with her, but rather I had to talk to her. We drove just a few minutes away from her office, and I pulled over. I read the poem to her.

A Reflection On An Ocean Wave

Do not be afraid to let go of the tears you hold deep inside

Take my arms and grieve in them

A special woman, not ready to let her go

Even though I never knew her,

She blessed my life

Do not lose the memories and the good times

Hold them deep inside your heart

Let a tear fall when you need to

Others may not know or understand, but they need not look far

To realize how special she was

You, a reflection of her life, of her dreams

So pure.

You were a gift of hers to this world

A reflection on an ocean wave

Her love her friendship you will never forget

Treasure those moments, shed a tear when you need to

Send your love to the heavens and to the oceans

As she looks down upon her little angel

Tears show her the love you still give

And the promise of the mother you will soon be.

From: Lane

Date: Friday, November 15, 2002 12:12:54 PM

To: Aimee

Subject: Re: Hi

Thanks for taking the time to hear my words. It meant a lot for me to tell you how I felt about sharing yesterday with you. I wanted to comfort you with words yesterday, but none came. I felt it was best to let you release and be there to hold you. I searched for the right thing to say yesterday to make it easier, but nothing came except for words I am sure you have heard a million times. I know those words do little for the loss you feel.

I love you with all my heart.

Lane

-------Original Message-------

From: Aimee

Date: Friday, November 15, 2002 10:43:13

To: Lane

Subject: Re: Hi

Thank you for the most beautiful words ever spoken to

me. You have touched a deep part of my heart and soul

with your words!

I love you so much!!

See you soon!

Aimee

Aimee wrote the following e mail shortly after we visited the cemetery together.

From: Aimee

Date: Tuesday, November 12, 2002 21:26:58

To: Lane

Subject: You

You are amazing....your eyes...your hair...your body...your strength...the way you hold me...how safe I feel...

I never felt safe with David, as he is not physically strong. His arms never made me feel warmth and safety and peace. Your arns are another thing I love so very much...the way you hold me...like no other has. I could have used those arms 3 years ago when my Mom died. You make me feel secure and loved and safe. I am one who feels scared and insecure without a parenst home to go home to...I have felt loss since my Mom moved...I have no place to go to for safety. Now...I have your arms. I feel safe when we are sitting...me between your legs and your arms wrapped around me. I should have put that in my ad...'strong arms to wrap around me to make me feel loved and safe".

I am so proud of you...how motivated you are at work...so dedicated. You will beat XXX with your personality and warmth. I am very proud of you and I know you are amazing at your job. Its your eyes and your smile and your gentleness that will make your go far in anything you do. I am just glad you love what you do. Thats the key to success. Unfortuatly, I may have to leave what i love to do what I have to do for money at this time. My heart hurts to leave family counseling...I have a niche there...and a potential in time. Everyone moves up there if they are patient. I am trying to get clients that are not older adults...I really want to do couples work...I seem to be pretty good at it assessments.

I can't wait to go home with you...I look forward to showing your family and friends that you wil be taken care of and you will be loved. They will see that in my eyes and my actions...

I love you more today then ever.

Thank you for being patient with in regards to sprituality...I am a passionate person and I did believe...I am just angry that my mom got taken away when I needed her. I need her to help me with children...to lean on...to ask advice from. I had the perfect mother growing up...she is the reason Jeff and I are happy and successful. My Dad was not ready to be a Dad, and caused me alot of pain. My mom was warm...loving...understanding...funny and kind to all. I will find peace in God...I believe it will happen when we have a child. A child is a miracle and I think it will help me reach for guidance and forgive God. Does that make sense. My Mom will be part of our child when he/she is born and that will help in the recovery of my heart.

I love and good night! I hope the Tylenol PM works soon...I want to be asleep when he gets home...if not, I will fake it (like usual with him) ...;)

Aimee

The Trophy: Chapter 12, The Seymour House

2008-12-12T00:01:00.000-08:00

The last week of October meant I had to be in Effingham for the last time. It was going to be a another long week without Aimee, but we had extra special plans when I got home. We kept in touch with our cell phones and e mail, and I tried to keep busy in my free time to pass time. This week went by a little quicker, but it was still slow. I wanted Halloween to get here, so I could get home to my Aimee.

I stayed busy by planning romantic things to do at the bed and breakfast. I purchased champagne, bubble bad, massage oils, candles, a lacy teddy, and other romantic items. Each day that I was in Effingham, was a day that I would try to do something for our trip to the bed and breakfast.

Halloween was finally here, and they released us just after 2:00. I quickly drove home. I had to drop off a friend from New York City, but I picked Aimee up before doing so. We dropped my friend Anne off at Oak Brook Mall, and then we had dinner at Greek Islands. We both couldn't wait to get on the road to Michigan.

The next day, Aimee and I took off for our romantic weekend at the Seymour House. We decided to leave early, and make a day out of it getting there. That way it would build up, and we would be ready to make love when we got there. We stopped at the outlet mall in Michigan City, and did some shopping. We looked at a few lighthouses along the Michigan shore. We stopped at Wineries, and tasted many different types of Michigan wines. We also went to a little park and took pictures as well. We got to the Seymour House at 4:00 on November 1. Friedl was our innkeeper. She checked us in and showed us around the house and into our room. We went straight to our room, the Michigan Room. Our desires had been rising all day. You could feel the energy between the two of us, but I had to set the mood. I asked Aimee to go to the bathroom while I decorated the room. I lit candles, placed rose petals on the bed, laid out a dozen roses for my Aimee. I also placed a bottle of champagne and two glasses on the bed. We didn't waste anytime, and began to kiss passionately. Our first two hours at the bed and breakfast were spent making love. We then resorted to the bath, where we took a bath together, massaging each other, and holding each other. The first evening at the bed and breakfast was even better than I could have imagined. I never imagined that love could be this good. I never dreamed it. I was with the perfect woman, and I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else.

The next morning we woke, made love, and went down to eat breakfast. The one thing we noticed was how much more loving we were over everyone else. We were constantly holding each other through breakfast whether it be holding hands or arms around each other. We were there to celebrate the love we found in each other, and it seemed like we were the only one.

That day we went shopping in some of the little small towns on Lake Michigan's Eastern shore. We goofed around, tried on weird clothes, took lots of pictures, and just had a great time together. It was like being on a honeymoon. I have never had a more romantic time in my life. Nothing in life mattered but Aimee and I.

We went back to The Seymour House and got ready for dinner. We had decided we wanted to get dressed up to go out to dinner in a very nice place. We went to the Sea Wolf, and the meal was wonderful. Aimee looked so beautiful sitting in her black dress with a smile on her face as she sipped her chardonnay. This weekend was perfect. Two lovers enjoying each other, and enjoying life. As we left the Michigan Room for the final time, the two of us both signed the guest book, and shared in the guest book how important the weekend was to our relationship.

In the care, we discussed the possibility of a June 2004 wedding. Aimee would also bring along conversation books that helped bring out feelings and thoughts that we could share with each other. Our time spent driving was spent in conversation. Aimee told me that she was quitting her temporary weekend position at Provena. She had told me that she was a crisis counselor there who was on call during a couple weekends a month. She told me she did this so we could spend more time together. I was all for it. Later I would find, after working with her to get her resume printed, that she hadn't worked at Provena since May 2001. I feel she used the position as an excuse for the first few weekends that I tried to get her to spend time with me.

The weekend ended so soon, but it is one I am sure we will never forget. Here is an e mail series that we shared shortly after the trip.

From: Aimee

Date: Monday, November 11, 2002 00:28:15

To: Lane

Subject: Us

This is one of my favorite emails...its simple and powerful. You are my knight in shining armor...my true love...my fantasy...my future.

I can't believe how much I missed you this weekend and how crabby I was because I couldn't talk to you and I phyically hurt from missing you. That is why my insomnia is kicking in again. I am getting bad that way again...stressed and unable to fall asleep all night...I can last a few days without sleep when I am this strung out, but then I crash. In our life together, I hope my insomnia fades. I have many things that developed since I met David. That is my own problem, but my relationship with David was not my destiny and it was stressful trying to make it look 'right'. I have spent most of my life trying to please others, and its wearing me down. I am a people-pleaser. You can always spot a child of an alcoholic...there are several personalities that arise from that. I am the 'people-pleaser' and Brian is the 'peacemaker'...both work to hide the family member who is alcoholic and distract others from seeing it.&nb! sp; Brian and I are textbook. I have grown alot since meeting David and I will always be greatful for that...I have confidence now and independence. TOO much independence...I like that you asked to see me Monday and when I tested you, you were adament. Thats sexy to me...as I feel wanted. David allowed me to be too independent and I ran away with that, but did not feel wanted or apart of a relationship.

I need you in my life and I can hardly explain how my entire body and mind need you when I am not with you. Some of that is good...as missing each other is normal and healthy when one leaves....10 days will be hard, but I promise I will never be apart from you that long. If you go to Ragbri...first of all...I can come and hang out at hotels...or it will only be a week...10 days is way too long!! Its hard when I only get to see my family twice a year...which you know very well yourself. When I can get there...I want it maximized!

I am going to marry you...give you a home...make you a Daddy...and I hope you never have to doubt us...or regret our relationship. I want you to be happy!

I love you!

Your Aimee

Lane wrote:

My life became more complete on September 17 and I love you for it. I love the direction we are taking our lives and knowing that it is a direction with love.

-------Original Message-------

From: Aimee

Date: Friday, November 08, 2002 6:00:14 PM

To: Lane

Subject: Re: Monday

I love you more then anything! I will be the mother of your children and love you every single day!!

I will miss you!!

Aimee

Lane wrote:

June or July. We just narrowed it down to a couple of months.

-------Original Message-------

From: Aimee

Date: Friday, November 08, 2002 3:59:19 PM

To: Lane

Subject: Re: Monday

You pick June?

Lane wrote:

JUNE 2004

-------Original Message-------

From: Aimee

Date: Friday, November 08, 2002 2:35:40 PM

To: Lane

Subject: Re: Monday

MARRY ME!!!!

Lane wrote:

And I look forward to you be in my arms. I love you so much!

-------Original Message-------

From: Aimee

Date: Friday, November 08, 2002 2:24:31 PM

To: Lane

Subject: Re: Monday

I look forward to returning to your arms!!

Lane wrote:

You know, every time that we have been apart, I have had to come home to you. This will be the first time you will come home to me. You better be prepared for one awesome night of love, passion, and romance. I have already been planning to get you back, of course;)

I love you,

Lane

Aimee went back to Michigan the weekend after our trip to Michigan with her friends, The Princesses. Aimee called me a couple of times during the trip wishing that I were there, and upset with Kathy most of the time. It would be another long weekend, and I tried to pass time by getting some final miles on my bike in for the year.

From: Aimee

Date: Monday, November 11, 2002 00:28:15

To: Lane

Subject: Us

This is one of my favorite emails...its simple and powerful. You are my knight in shining armor...my true love...my fantasy...my future.

I can't believe how much I missed you this weekend and how crabby I was because I couldn't talk to you and I phyically hurt from missing you. That is why my insomnia is kicking in again. I am getting bad that way again...stressed and unable to fall asleep all night...I can last a few days without sleep when I am this strung out, but then I crash. In our life together, I hope my insomnia fades. I have many things that developed since I met David. That is my own problem, but my relationship with David was not my destiny and it was stressful trying to make it look 'right'. I have spent most of my life trying to please others, and its wearing me down. I am a people-pleaser. You can always spot a child of an alcoholic...there are several personalities that arise from that. I am the 'people-pleaser' and Jeff is the 'peacemaker'...both work to hide the family member who is alcoholic and distract others from seeing it.&nb! sp; Jeff and I are textbook. I have grown alot since meeting David and I will always be greatful for that...I have confidence now and independence. TOO much independence...I like that you asked to see me Monday and when I tested you, you were adament. Thats sexy to me...as I feel wanted. David allowed me to be too independent and I ran away with that, but did not feel wanted or apart of a relationship.

I am going to marry you...give you a home...make you a Daddy...and I hope you never have to doubt us...or regret our relationship. I want you to be happy!

I love you!

Your Aimee

Lane wrote:

My life became more complete on September 17 and I love you for it. I love the direction we are taking our lives and knowing that it is a direction with love.

-------Original Message-------

From: Aimee

Date: Friday, November 08, 2002 6:00:14 PM

To: Lane

Subject: Re: Monday

I love you more then anything! I will be the mother of your children and love you every single day!!

I will miss you!!

Aimee

The Trophy: Chapter 11 Dinner at Dave's

2008-12-11T00:01:00.000-08:00

Aimee was supposed to go to California with David and his family in the middle of October, but with all that was going on with us, didn't. Aimee always wanted to make me dinner, and this was her chance. However, this was going to be tough due to her nosey neighbor across the street, Lorrie. I had to park a couple of blocks away by the model homes, and come through the back door. I called her to let her know I was there. She met me in the back yard wearing a very sexy little mini skirt. Aimee always looked very sexy in a dress. Tonight she looked the sexiest I had ever seen her. I set down the bottle of wine and roses I brought, and we immediately locked ourselves in a kiss. Our passion was getting stronger. Our desires more intense, and our love was incredible.

She made lasagna, lit some candles, and had poured wine. It was an uncomfortable feeling being in this large house knowing it was his, and I tried to relax. Our conversation was good as always, but something important was on her mind. We had been talking about how important it was that we have children. We both have dreamed of becoming parents. Aimee had mentioned several times that she had some infertility issues in her marriage. She told me she had a miscarriage just over a year ago. She said it was important for me to know that she was fertile and could have children, and it was her other half who possessed the problem. She told me she had an affair with a man named J.M. from Oklahoma City. Jerry was a traveling salesman who she met online, and decided to meet in person one night. She said he picked her up in a limo, and he put on this huge show for her. She told herself she wasn't going to let it get far, but wound up having sex with him. They had a one night stand, and the result was Aimee's pregTracy. She always told David it was his. She said she had to tell me this so I would know that it was his fault and not hers as to the infertility issues. I guess she had been scared that it had crossed my mind that she wasn't capable of getting pregnant. Aimee told this story to Tracy shortly after Tracy got pregnant. I walked in on the conversation at the end.

I spent the night there with Aimee in the guest room, and we made love in there throughout the week. I cooked a couple of times. One night I made Cashew Chicken, a Springfield, MO specialty, and an Oriental Salad, which Aimee loved. I went to a Chinese restaurant and got some fortune cookies. I stuffed the cookies with messages of love for Aimee. She was sick one night, and I tried to take care of her, but she wouldn't let me. I tried making soup for her and holding her. She said she didn't want me to see her sick, and she asked me to leave. One night, she called me up on the phone scared, because she heard a noise. I told her I would come over, and she said don't be silly. However, I did come over, and she thanked me for caring so much about her. David came back to town from California about a week and a half later, and I left to Effingham for the final part of my training.

I would go back to the house many times before Aimee moved out. On Super Sunday, I gave Aimee her first ever Super Bowl gift before watching the game. We often would sit down in the basement, cuddling on the couch watching movies like Shrek and Serendipity.

The Trophy: Chapter 10, Planning the Most Romantic Weekend

2008-12-10T00:01:00.000-08:00

It was good being back home in Aimee's arms. I never imagined that love could be this good. I found someone who I laughed with, was attracted to, and loved. She seemed to feel the same way. It was time to celebrate by doing something we would remember the rest of our lives. She asked me if I had ever been to a bed and breakfast. I told her I had not, but had always wanted to go to one. I had waited to go until I found someone special. We got on the internet, and we began looking for a nice bed and breakfast that we could go to and celebrate our love and our new engagement together. We also consulted with my friend and former co-worker Bob and his wife about nice bed and breakfast within three hours of Chicago. I introduced Bob and his wife to Aimee just after we were engaged while we were headed to Lake Geneva for the afternoon.

From: Aimee

Date: Thursday, October 17, 2002 12:39:26

To: Lane

Subject: Re: Aimee, You Are The Most Beautiful Woman

Lane,

Hi, I am done earlier then expected. This email melted my heart...what amazing words that you have written to me. You, too, have inspired me, my heart...as I was so bored with life, I had little motivation, I did not believe...in anything...I took sleeping pills to make the days go by. I was not inspired. You have touched parts of my heart that have been undiscovered...you cleared away the dust...you have inspired me in so many ways. I believe...I believe there must be some higher power to have put us together...I believe in true love and soulmates...I believe you are the one I am suppossed to spend the rest of my life with, have babies with, build our dreams together.

I picture our wedding day...and the look in our eyes...and the pounding of our hearts. I picture me telling you that I am pregnant and we are going to have a baby together. I picture you holding my hand in the delivery room...us crying together as our miracle is born. I picture you and I going to little league, soccer games and ballet recitals...hand in hand. I picture us going on dates, even when we have been married many years...and still dancing in the living room. I picture our children being inspired by our love and wanting that for themselves. I picture us at our childrens wedding days, and reliving our own wedding. I picture falling in love with you all over again when we are older and greying. I picture us dancing in the living room as we grow older, and weaker, but we are still in love. I picture our lives together to be great. We just can't let insignificant things get in the way of the most i! mportant thing...our love and devotion.

I love you...more then anything in this world.

Aimee

Aimee showing off her new engagement ring at Chain Of Lakes State Park.

After a few days of searching, and phone calls to some friends, we found a cute little bed and breakfast just outside of South Holland, MI. We made reservations over the internet at the Seymour House for November 1-3. I was going back to Effingham the week prior to that, so it would be another exciting homecoming for us.

From: Aimee

Date: Wednesday, October 02, 2002 18:30:38

To: Lane

Subject: Re: Inviitation

The woman who loves you would be HONORED to accept this invitation for a romantic getaway...to be alone with the man she has fallen in love with...to hold him...make love to him...take long walks with him...eat quaint meals together...falling more in love with him...

I have requested that Friday off...so we are all set.

I love you so much...I can't wait to see you tonight and for our getaway!!!

xoxox

Aimee

Lane wrote:

You are invited to spend a very romantic weekend with the man who loves you. On November 1, we will arrive at the Seymour House in South Haven, MI for a very intimate weekend. We are going to stay two loving nights together holding each other, loving each other, and sharing with each other the best that life has to offer.

Reservations are made. Your presence will make this the most special trip of this man's life.

Lane

The Trophy, Chapter 9, The Longest Week

2008-12-09T00:01:00.000-08:00

It is always hard going out of town when there is something good in your life happening. I used to be a road warrior a few years back, and I was still burned out from staying in hotels. This was probably the hardest trip I have ever made. Aimee and I woke up at 4:00, so I could be in Effingham by 8:00 that morning. Our morning was rushed, and sad. I just wanted Friday to get here. I knew it was going to be a long week. To make matters worse, the woman I had fallen in love with was having surgery that Wednesday, and I wasn't going to be there to support and love her.

I drove off around 4:30 already missing her. We immediately called each other on our cell phones as we drove off. I talked with her until she made it home. On the drive down, I kept checking my phone for e mail. I eventually got an e mail from her telling me to drive carefully, that she missed me, and that she loved me. I hated being this far away from her.

We constantly talked on the phone throughout the week, but e mail was the one constant. Our e mails were of love, of missing each other, missing our touches, and wanting so badly to be together. They were about dreams of Friday and my homecoming. Then one day, an e mail that I wasn't expecting came while I was in my job training class. She asked me to marry her. I asked her if she was serious, and if she was yes. I did go on to tell her that I wanted the chance to do it right though. She said she was serious, and I told her I would marry her.

Aimee had snuck in my suitcase the night before I left a greeting card for each day that I was gone. Each morning I got to look forward to a new greeting card. One of the cards she sent me is shown below.

Wednesday was a long day. She was to go to the hospital early. She warned me that she wasn't sure if I would even hear from her that day. I prayed that it would go smoothly. I was a nervous wreck. She told me that David, her husband was going to take her to the hospital, but he wasn't very happy about it. I didn't hear from her all day. She left a message on my phone later that night. She was a very groggy. She said she was okay, and she loved me. She was going to bed. I was relieved to know she was okay.

Friday eventually came, but the minutes ticked slowly up until the time that we were dismissed. We were finally dismissed, and I rushed to my truck to get on the highway. I called her to let her know I was on my way home to hold you. She told me she has something very special planned for me. I kept calling her giving my progress. I finally made it to greater Chicagoland, where Friday during rush hour can be very stressful when you are wanting to get home. I was developing some major road rage wanting to get home to my Aimee.

I finally made it home after three and a half hours on the road. I rushed up to my apartment and opened the door. There to greet me was the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on. She was wearing a very sexy black dress, and my heart was pounding. She had the lights down, and candles lit. She also had chicken parmesan ready for us to eat. However, we had other things to do.

We began to make love to each other. These feelings had been building all week, and we both were waiting for this moment. I had to be very careful though. She had two incisions on her sBenach that were diagonal and about an inch and half. Her belly button was swollen too. (I would eventually remove some of the stitches that failed to dissolve). We made love for a long time that night. We both wanted this moment to be special, and it was the best homecoming I have ever had. We eventually got around to eating our chicken parmesan, but it wasn't a priority.

That night as we lied in bed, I had something else on my mind. I asked her to get dressed and go for a walk. We both got dressed very casually. I hid a special surprise in my pocket. We went for the same walk that we did the night we met. We went to the same bench that I first kissed Aimee. I sat there, and I told her how much she meant to me. I told her how much I had fallen in love. I told her how excited I was when she asked me to marry her in her e mail. I then told her that was what I wanted too. I got down on my knee and proposed to her, as I pulled out a ring I picked up while I was in Effingham. She said yes.

-------Original Message-------

From: Aimee

Date: Monday, October 14, 2002 07:17:22

To: Lane

Subject: Hi

I love you so very much! i am ESTATIC that you asked me to marry you! I am so honored to be your fiancee' and its so hard to keep you, my soulmate, a secret. I love to see your eyes...your lips...your smile...to hear your laugh...to feel your arms around me...I love when you hold me and kiss me in front of your friends...when you grab my hand in public...when you kiss me when you let me in tha car...when you caress my face in the theatre...when you are excited to show me a new restaurant...when we make love and we talk about being married...

You are THE most important person to me in my whole life...and always will be. I accepted your proposal because I know we will be incredible for each other and want a marriage that will be passionate and loving and that will last forever. I know you and I know what makes a relationaship fail...and what we feel makes a relationship work...and we want to make US work! I swear...i will never work at something more then us...and to put US first. I don't mean spending every second together...as we need our friends time and alone time sometimes...and we will have our own interests. I can totally see me bringing our little baby to RAGBRI and waiting for you at each of the hotels...just so you can do your passion...be with friends and yet see your family at night. That would be important for both of us. I want us to be best friends and also WANT to be together and not feel obligated.

Lane...lest you and I define our marriage...make our own rules and not follow what society says is best. What you and I want is probably more then society says is best...but so be it..what works for you and I should be all that matters!

I felt badly when you said that 'we were going to make love this morning"...and I broke that promise. First ...I really am in pain this morning, as much as I wanted to mak elove to you...I was also in pain last night...but I love making love to you. I also had this day weighing on my mind, and know I needed time to think and clear my head.

It is you I am going to be with...I would not have accepted if I had a single doubt...because I do know what I want and I am determined to get it...and the you came in my life...blowing my expectations out of the water! I just expected movies once in awhile and fireworks on the 4th...YOU are my DREAM!

I am soooooooooooooooooooooo in love with you and I am so glad you can now experience what being in love is with me...we are on thie new journey together and I expect it will be the best ride we have ever been on!

I love you!!

Your Aimee

The next day we spent the day together by going to Chicago to pick up our pictures that Linda took. They turned out great. They really captured what we were about. Linda instantly noticed the glitter of the new ring on Aimee's finger. She was very happy for us. She later told Ben, who I had not told yet. The Princesses, Aimee's group of college friends, who meet every couple of weeks on Thursday night, had just got done meeting. Aimee and Tracy would always go out afterwards, and Holly was also a long. Aimee wanted me to meet Holly, and this would be the second friend to find out about me. I met them at Fridays on Randall Road. Ben called me while we there drinking beers and eating tortilla chips. Aimee and Tracy had a little personal joke amongst them, and tried to get Ben involved. Tracy got on the phone pretending to be Aimee. Ben casually mentioned that he can't wait to see the rock that Lane got her, and a congratulations followed. This caught Tracy off guard, as well as Aimee and I. After the call, Aimee had some explaining to do. She went out to her car, and she brought the ring in. She showed it to both Tracy and Holly, and we both told them the story of the e mail and the surprise when I got home. They were both very happy for her. I had met Tracy a couple of weeks earlier at Big Bowl. Aimee was having problems holding it in that she had fallen in love. Tracy was her first friend to find out. Holly was the second. Lisa, who Aimee named would be our maid of honor, was the third. I met her one night in November at Rock Bottom in Warrenville.

The Trophy: Chapter 8, The Week Before Effingham

2008-12-08T00:01:00.000-08:00

One of the things that made us special was the fact that there was so much detail put into everything we did. Dinner was a common example of this. I love to cook, and I loved cooking for Aimee. We created some very special and memorable dinners. I made a heart shaped pizza one night. I made pancakes shaped with our initials for her to eat. I always went out of my way to cook something I knew she would love. She always joked around saying one day she would have me over for hot dogs, since she didn't like to cook. Our meals usually took place with us sitting on the floor, and setting up the coffee table for dinner. There was always candles lit, wine, gourmet food, and atmosphere. I always went out of my way to let Aimee know how much I loved and wanted her. She often said I made her feel like a princess. This week was no exception, but there was a sadness between us knowing that I was going to be gone for eight days. There was also sadness that Aimee was going to have surgery the Wednesday of the next week. I wanted so much to be there for her, and take care of her. She told me she didn't even think she could count on her husband to take her to the hospital. I told her it was hurting me that I wasn't going to be in town to get her through her recovery. We made the best of the week.

From: Aimee

Date: Tuesday, October 01, 2002 09:35:05

To: Lane

Subject: Re: Hi

Hi sweetie,

I love you so much...I am falling more in love with with each day. I LOVE waking up to you and making love to you. I think you are so incredibly attractive, that you just melt me when I look at you. Your strong arms wrapped around me all night made me feel so loved and safe. That is where I belong and where I want to remain. I so badly want to show you off to all my friends...and I look forward to the day I can.

Damn you are attractive no matter what, but when you were dressed up...I wanted you all over again. You were sitting in your car...and looking so incredible...WOW!! I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO lucky to have you!

You have awaken feelings and desires in me I didn't know I had. I knew I wanted passion, but I beginning to feel like maybe it wasn't in me. I have recently realized that it wasn't me that didn't have passion, but there must be chemistry (physical and emotional) between both. Let me explain something that happened this morning. When we were making love after the shower (which the whole shower thing was sooooo sexy, by the way)...it always feels good to be that close to you and love you so intimatly...and I do not have to orgasm each time, because just feeling you that way feels so good in every way. This morning, you looked at me so lovingly, that I instantly got a rush of excitement and had an orgasm...it was from the look you gave me and feeling you. THAT is what making love is, isn't it! I knew being 'in love' existed!! I feel like shouting from the rooftops..."I found him...I found him..."

I love you today more then ever. My heart keeps opening up more for you...and I love everything about you.

I can't wait to ride bikes today...I just want to see my wonderful boyfriend more and more!

I love you!

Aimee

On Saturday, I told Aimee, who also was into photography, that I wanted to get some pictures of us to take with me on my trip. I asked my friend Tom to take the pictures. We drove to Chicago, where Ben is a personal trainer. When we got there, Ben told me that one of his friends was a professional wedding photographer, and that he asked her to come along. Linda showed up at the gym with her cameras about an hour later.

If you know Linda, you will know this guy can eat, so before we started the pictures, he needed to eat. We sat outside the Corner Bakery on Clark Street in downtown Chicago. Tom was my first friend to meet Aimee. We sat there and all got to know each other. Bens's friend Linda was really cool, and Aimee hit it off with her. As we left the Corner Bakery, Tom and I had to visit the men's room. As I met the girls outside, Linda was crying. I asked her what was wrong. She said that Aimee just told her that if I could order the perfect guy; that Lane is that guy and more. Linda said she could feel the energy and happiness between us and knew we had something special.

We were then off to Lincoln Park. Meghan took a lot of time photographing Aimee and I. None of the poses were forced. They were two people who loved being with each other. The resulting pictures really speak honestly about the energy and passion that was our relationship. The pictures shown on the website up until now are those pictures.

After we got done taking pictures, it was getting dark. We went to Greek Town on Halsted street for dinner. Tom had taken some pictures of us on my camera, and we dropped off the film so that we could have pictures to look at while I was gone. Aimee developed her love of Feta Cheese at the Greek Isles, our favorite restaurant in Greek Town. I would introduce Aimee to several new Restaurant that she would love like Big Bowl and BD's Mongolian Stir Fry.

The Trophy: Chapter 7, Back from Champagne

2008-12-07T00:01:00.000-08:00

From: Aimee

Date: Saturday, September 28, 2002 02:43:09

To: Lane

Subject: Us

My sweet Lane,

You are unbelievable!! I feel so good around you...WE feel RIGHT!! I really see us as an incredible couple, because like we discussed...we know what we need and don't want...and want to find 'THE one'. My heart tells me you are the one, and I am so lucky I found you while I am still young and we could move forward and have a lifetime together if we want to!

I am honored to be your girlfriend...and honored to have you as my boyfriend. You are the best looking guy I have ever dated...that is why I feel a bit insecure at times. I love looking at you...you are everything I love in a man...strong...yet gentle...smart, articulate, romantic, true, and loving to both your friends, family and now me. I can't wait til I can have you meet my friends and family...they will love you!!

I love you!! There is no need to hide that feeling, as I do love you...I love the way you make me feel, I love your voice...your smell...your body...your accent...your heart...your words....your touch....your commitment. I like the person I know so far and look forward to growing with you. I want us to fall madly in love, and I know it will happen. My heart tells me you are who I have been waiting for.

'That guy' was waiting up when I got home...he woke up and saw I wasn't here and was worried. He was not the sight I wanted to see after a romantic night with you...and we fought. I do not love him. I know what I need to do. The final talk is coming soon...I need to end it with you. I have you now, and I want to show you that you are NOT second fiddle, but the one I want to give myself to. I owe you that. I just want you to be assurred that I do not want to hurt 'that guy' either, but I need to be with who I feel I was meant to be with.

I need to find apartments...I need to talk to Lisa, and see if she is wanting to move out of her parents.

I want to be 100% yours!! I hope that doesn't scare you...

I want to spoil you....and treat you like no one has ever treated you. I want you to be happy, always.

You care so much about me...your concerned voice told me that when you called me today and wanted to know what upset me. That was unbelievable to me...to care that I had a bad day and wanting to know details!!

I miss you...and think of you all the time. My heart is with you...you are the only one who will be intimate with me and have my heart...I am yours.

Love,

Aimee

My weekend was long while Aimee was in Champagne. She was there visiting her friend Dennis and his wife. She told me she went there alone, but I would later find out that she went there with her husband. She warned me she wouldn't have a lot of time to call. I tried to pass time this weekend, but my heart needed to see and be with Aimee. I needed to hold her. I did get a couple of calls throughout the weekend, but I couldn't understand why she was so rushed if she was alone. Sunday afternoon she calls me in tears. She said she finally told David she wanted a divorce. Well this was a far cry from when I was told they were in the process of getting a divorce. I thought they had already gotten this step out of the way, and that is why I decided to pursue a relationship with Aimee. She called me after leaving his parents house. She said she needed to be held. She mentioned that they had gotten into a fight when she got to his parents that day. I told her I wanted to see her, and I was here for her. I talked her into coming over. As I talked with her on the phone, I realized another lie was taking place. Aimee had always told me she lived in Naperville off Route 59. She was on the phone, and I asked her where she was. She said she was on Interstate 80 just east of Illinois Route 47. I asked what are you doing out there if you live in Naperville. She said she made a wrong turn off of the Interstate, and that she would rush over to my house. She quickly got off the subject by noticing some cows, her favorite animal off of Route 47. Aimee in fact lived in Sweetened Grove in a house they had built just about a year and a half earlier. I thought this whole wrong turn thing was odd, but love has a strange way of wanting to cover these things up. She eventually called me from their home phone. I did a reverse telephone number look up to find out that she lived in Sweetened Grove. I confronted her one night at Michaels, after she wasn't sure about her zip code, and used mine. She admitted to me that she had lied, and was worried I was upset. I let it go.

She eventually made her way to my apartment at Four Lakes. She was placed instantly in a better mood once she saw me, and I quickly forgot about the Route 47 fiasco. We made love that afternoon, and I held her like she needed to be held.

From: Aimee

Date: Monday, September 30, 2002 11:04:04

To: Lane

Subject: Re: These past two days

This morning was definitly difficult coming home. David was very upset, and hurting very badly. I have been crying hard for about an hour now. He told me his Dad said he wanted to punch me, which hurt me very much.

I believe I will not be going to California in two weeks, I may switch them to the holidays, so I can see them then. I will not go and be with someone who wants to punch me.

David and I worked out a plan for this week. He will be home tonight and gone Tomorrrow night and Friday through Sunday. He would like me to get a hotel room or something the other nights to think about my final decision.

I hurt him very bad. I feel so evil and like I should just stay, so he doesn't hurt. Its easier for me to not be happy then make someone else not happy.

I wish I didn't have to work today...I can't stop crying. I may be meeting Lisa tonight, as she left a message that she was coming home from Wisconsin to talk to me. We will see.

Thank you for being there for me last night...you are so wonderful. You easily relaxed me and made me feel happiness in amongst all this turmoil in my life. I love you so much and I, too, feel we have grown and gotten closer in the past 24 hours.

I hope you day is good and productive.

Love,

Aimee

This coming week was going to be a sad week for us. In a week, I was to leave for Effingham, IL for job training, so we weren't going to see each other for a while.

The Trophy: Chapter 6, The Marathon Date

2008-12-06T00:01:00.000-08:00

Our next date was on Friday. It had been a great but stressful week for us after finding out what Aimee was hiding behind. I know she felt some relief after telling me, and knowing I wasn't running. Aimee was getting off work at 2:00 on Friday. This would be the only day that I would see her for the weekend, since she was going to Champagne, IL to a friends house. I was cooking Chicken Cordon Bleu. I also found the perfect movie. It was a Harrison Ford movie called Hanover Street, in which Harrison Ford plays an Army officer during World War II who falls in love with an English woman who happens to be married. We watched the movie and held each other as we ate. We made love after the movie. Each time we made love; the emotions grew stronger. Neither one of us had ever experienced such passion before. Our touches were magnified by the love we were sharing. While we were making love, both of us exclaimed that I Love You to the other while looking deeply into each others eyes. This was the first time these words were said by either of us. I believe Aimee said them first, although I am not sure, so don't take my word for this. I believed I asked her to open up and tell me first.

After we made love, I drove the both of us into the city. We listened to the cd that Aimee made me, and I presented a cd of songs that made me think of her. One of the songs on the cd I made for Aimee really stood out, and became our song. It was Keith Whitley's When You Say Nothing At All. Aimee said it described what we were all about. I drove us to Navy Pier. It was getting dark, and the night was a cool autumn night in Chicago. We walked to the large Ferris wheel, and I bought two tickets. We got on the Ferris wheel and we held each other, kissed, and just enjoyed being near each other. After the Ferris wheel ride, we had the above picture made in a photo booth.

We then walked over to the Hancock Building. We went up to the 95th floor and had a glass of wine together, as we saw Chicago from above the clouds. We got to talk more about the feelings we were feeling towards each other. Both of us knew that this was something very special developing.

A few minutes later, it was down 95 floors to the Cheesecake factory, where we split a piece of cheesecake outside of the Hancock Building. It was another memorable date in the progress, but it wasn't over yet.

We decided to drive up the north shore, where on a beach in Wilmette, with the waves coming in and the full moon shining off of Lake Michigan, we made love. The night was perfect, but there was a sadness that Aimee was going out of town the next day for an Illinois football game against Michigan. She had warned me that she had many weekends planned for the next few weeks. I tried keeping myself busy by riding with friends.

Keith Whitley-When You Say Nothing At All

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing

(Chorus):
The smile on your face let's me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

All alone I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd
Old Mr. Webster could never define
What's being said between your heart and mine

The smile on your face let's me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

The smile on your face let's me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all..

The Trophy: Chapter 5, The Secret Revealed

2008-12-05T00:01:00.000-08:00

As the week went on, it was becoming more apparent what was happening between the two of us. We spent so much time exchanging e-mails, talking on the phone, and spending time together. It seemed like every night she was coming over for dinner. Every day I was leaving a card or flowers at her car at work. One night she even came over with a cd she burned of songs that made her think of us. One of the songs on the CD was Melissa Etheridge's I Want To Come Over. The lyrics state, I want to come over, to hell with the consequence... Another song on it, she said was very special. It was Annie's Song by John Denver. The song that she said described her feelings towards me to a "T" was the Alannis Morrisette song, Hand Over Feet. She also had placed Adam Sandler's, I Want To Grow Old With You, and we would sing it to each other every time we heard it. I loved the cd, and I listened to it as I drove to clients offices the next day. She also sent me a picture of her in a bikini on the beach in my e mail one day. It was hot!

Our emotions were building towards each other. I couldn't stop thinking about Aimee. I was falling in love, and it was the most magical thing. It was something I had never experienced before. I was discovering in Aimee, that I not only had a lover, but I also had a best friend. Someone I laughed with and enjoyed talking to. It was the best thing. Aimee kept mentioning that she had baggage though that needed to be taken care of. I wasn't sure what she meant, but I was beginning to suspect the worst. She wasn't ready to talk to me about it yet. I was planning a date in the city on Friday night, and I was building that up on the phone one day, when all of a sudden she came clean.

The card that came with the cd

I am married, she said. My heart broke. I asked her what did she mean she was married. She then explained that she married someone that she wasn't in love with. She wasn't happy in her marriage. She said she married her friend, but there was no excitement or passion beyond that. She said she expected so much more out of marriage, but wasn't getting that. She also went on to say that he, on occasion was abusive to her, and did things to her that she asked him not to that were sexually unhealthy. She said they also couldn't do anything without his parents tagging along. She seemed miserable talking about it. She said they separated in the late summer, and they were going through a divorce. She said she didn't want to tell me this, but owed it to me. She went on to say that she didn't want to lose us and what we had begun.

From: Aimee

Date: Tuesday, September 24, 2002 22:51:28

To: Lane

Subject: Re: You

My sweet Lane,

I watched you ride off today...it was hard to let you go. It was awesome to see you ride off to swiftly...

If you feel better not asking questions or bringing things up...then I understand. I will only let you know things when you ask and are ready to hear. Until then, I will keep my promise to keep being honest with you about my feelings about you...and to let you know as often as possible, so you know I am sincere.

I was feeling pressure, and I am not sure if that was you or me or us....I started to get scared...and have been in deep thought ever since our conversation. These are my thoughts (you always want to know them)....'Is it better for Lane to let him go now...so he can find someone better...?"...'I should just go and finish off what I don't want in my life...take a risk...and go for what I need and want and deserve...you!'....'Am I good at relationships? I was in a relationship for 7 years....and then I married a guy I was never in love with..."..."I want to be Lane's girlfriend".....'Will that passion with Lane and I last? "Will Lane and I fall madly in love or will he get fed up and leave?" " I picture Lane and I with my family and friends...and I picture it as I dream of." "I don't want to hurt anyone...and I know thats impossible...."..."I am married legally to someone I am not in love with...and I feel like I have met the person I coul! d BE in love with...how do I balance both?" "I am scared about finances...I have been lucky in life....secure. Being IN LOVE and have passion is THE most important part, and I have to tread on unfamiliar ground soon." "I can't imagine not being able to afford seeing peyton when I need to..."...

I miss you now so badly. I feel like I am already yours and reality hits me. I want to give you so much, and I can't. You deserve 100% from someone and I SO BADLY want to be that person. I wish i would have met you 6 months to a year down the line...and we could be perfect.

I cried after talking to you tonight. I don't cry often...not since my mom died. I cried for getting myself into a spot where no matter what I do, I hurt someone. I would rather I hurt, then hurt someone. I assure you that there is no one in my dating history that I do not still communicate with...even Brian...I am not someone who dumps and moves on.

I have strong feelings for you. I want to keep pursuing those feelings. I believe you and I have potential...potential to fall in love....so deeply that we miss each other when the other is missing...I have never felt that either. I literally went from being abused to being the one in control...with you...I tread on new territory. I am not in control...and you treat me like a princess. You are so new to me...so different. I truely never expected you. I thought I would go on a date...kiss...and move on. I don't want tomove on. I want you to be mine and me to be yours...I really do. I want to call you my boyfriend...

You are an amazing person, and I am so very glad you know that.

I have bee so scared that you were hurt today, that I almost said 'I need to free you then'...and allow you to be free to find what you deserve. I trust you know yourself and know how to make the best decision for you, so I will try to back off and not make that decision for you. I will worry about me and what decisions I need to begin making to begin the life I want.

I miss you and want to hold you so badly now.

Friday can't come soon enough.

Aimee

The phone call hurt. I sat alone that night and cried. We finally got to talk later that night, and I told her how I felt about her. She assured me that her feelings towards me were the same. She said on many occasions to be patient, and my patience would pay off in time. She assured me they were on their way to getting a divorce. I made the decision to continue seeing Aimee. My heart already belonged to her.

From: Aimee

Date: Thursday, October 17, 2002 10:41:04 PM

To: Lane

Subject: Hi

I wish I could call you right now...I AM PISSED!!! I got here, and David casually asked...'Can I look up Brian when I am in California?" I whipped around and said..'WHAT? NOW you want to hang out with my family? No way! Let me have my family on my side...and you be with your family!" I AM PISSED!! Why would he even think to ask that...at least he did ask, and not go ahead and meet up with Brian and Aimee. The audacity of that question!!!

David went to a therpaist today...told her everything...even things I didn't know....like him writing to swingers clubs to get involved with that. WHO DID I MARRY??? He makes me sick to look at him now...I really feel he has a sexual addiction. I am glad he is getting help....he needs it!

I had a wonderful evening with you...like usual! I am excited fo ryou to meet nancy, although she is the most beautiful friend I have and I will look very plain next to her. I can't tell you enough how excited I am to have a healthy relationship with you, where my friends know you and you actually like to hang out with them once in awhile. This will be a new road for me...and I am excited to take it with you. See, like I said, I have been very independent...going out at night alot with friends...school helped give me excuses to get out...but its not what i wanted...i wanted to WANT to be with my significant other...not try to avoid him. I can't wait to be married to you!

I do want to talk to you about me moving out of here. I am thinking it would be best for now to move in with nancy/and or Lisa...for several reasons. I want us to date for awhile...as we have our whole lives to live together...this can be a fun time in our lives as well..you picking me up for a date...you know...I really want that. You hanging at my place...me hanging at yours. Its not that I don't want to live with you...i do...but I also want to date you...and enjoy this stage in our lives! Does this make sense? We can keep discussing it further, if you want to.

I love you with all my heart...and together we will make all our dreams a reality!

Aimee

The Trophy: Chapter 4, A Long Few Days

2008-12-04T00:01:00.000-08:00

From: Aimee

Date: Sunday, September 22, 2002 21:12:57

To: Lane

Subject: Re: Rolling Out

Lane,

I am sorry I have not been in touch with you today, but cellphones are not allowed in the hospital.

I miss you...and really do need you right now.

I have no idea what you schedule is, and I am just offering a possibility...I could leave work at 5 or 5:30...and I have to pick my brother up at O'Hare at 9:30....if you want, I could pop over...otherwise, I will keep on working.

I don't want to burden you with all this...I just want to see you and be with you. If not tomorrow...some other time this week. Hopefully Friday is still on...

I hope your ride was good. I thought of you all day.

My Grandma had a stroke...

See...I am her Power of Attorney for Health Care, which means I make decisions for her health when she can't. Thank God my brother is coming in, as I don't have my Mom here to help.

I miss your face...your embrace...your kiss...your warmth...your kiss....you!

I am going to sleep, as I have had very little. Know that I am thinking of you.

Aimee

I never wanted to see somebody so bad in my life after our date on Thursday. They were the best two dates of my life. Time was ticking by so slowly. It would be Monday before I would see her again. We talked on Friday, but the phone calls didn't come in during the weekend. It drove me nuts, actually. I wonder if I had said something wrong. Why was she keeping this distance if, like she said, she just had the two most incredible dates of her life.

On Sunday morning, I was with my friends getting ready to ride the North Shore Century, a 100 mile bicycle ride, in Evanston, when I finally got a message. It was Aimee. Her grandmother, Ethel, was in the hospital after having a stroke. Her brother Brian was coming to town, and she needed to cancel on Monday.

She had made plans to take me out in appreciation of our first two dates. With her grandmother falling ill, it was best to move the date to another day. She sounded very disappointed on the phone, although we didn't get to talk. I kept leaving voice mails and e-mails from my phone letting her know that my thoughts and prayers were with her.

We were both going crazy inside, needing to see each other and hold each other. I asked her to meet me Monday morning. We met at Starbucks on 75th street in Naperville. It was there that I gave her the picture of the Split Rock Light House. That is the second item added to the Lane Shrine. She decided that she would come over for a short period of time before picking up her brother at the airport. She told me she wasn't ready for me to meet her brother, so I didn't go to the airport. We had dinner over at my place. It was quickly prepared, and we held each other and made love. I had missed her so much during the weekend, and it felt so good to hold her. She left for O'hare around 8:30 that night. We decided we would go out on a very special date on Friday.

The Trophy: Chapter 3, The Picnic Basket and Monsters Inc.

2008-12-03T00:00:00.000-08:00

This is a continuing series. The first chapter is found at http://cupidisdead.blogspot.com/2008/12/trophy-chapter-one-first-date.html

After seeing Aimee for a very short time in the parking lot of where she worked, I knew I wanted to do something that would totally blow her away. It was late September, and I knew it would be turning cold in Chicago in just a few weeks. I knew that a romantic picnic was in order. That night, I went to the grocery store. I bought champagne, fresh fruit, crackers, cheeses, deserts, and fancy luncheon meat. I also ran to Target to find a blanket. I went back to my apartment and started to put my plan into place.

I cut up the luncheon meat into little bites and laid them out with crackers and squares of cheese, and I carefully wrapped them up and placed them in the picnic basket. I chilled the champagne in the freezer. I dipped strawberries in chocolate. I placed grapes next to the chocolate dipped strawberries. I placed the finger deserts on another plate by themselves. I carefully placed all of this in the basket, and then placed the basket in the refrigerator over night. I had a busy day at work the next day, and I knew I wouldn't have time to do it after work. There were still a couple of things I needed to do. I, of course, needed to go to the flower shop. I also picked up a card, and Aimee would find cards left all over the place for her in the months to come.

It was a gray day in Chicago, and there was supposed to be light showers all day. Luckily it remained gray without any rain. I did pick up a couple of umbrellas, just in case. I was hoping nothing was going to ruin this day.

She met me at my place in Four Lakes. I told her I could pick her up this time, but she said it would be easier if she would just drive to my apartment after work. I had already packed up my Pathfinder, and was waiting outside for her to pull up. I immediately opened the door for her, and gave her a big kiss as she sat in my truck. This would become traditional for us, and when I would forget to kiss her while she was being seated, she would always make a scene in fun. I started driving towards Mack Road in Warrenville. I knew there was a fairly private forest preserve with a lake in it that we would have some privacy.

We had to walk about half a mile to get to a perfect secluded spot. She was in disbelief that I had gone to this amount of trouble without even seeing what was inside yet. I placed the blanket on the ground, and I asked her to have a seat and close her eyes. I immediately opened the basket and began setting up my romantic scene. I laid all the food and champagne out. I placed two champagne glasses crossing each other. I then sprinkled rose petals all over the blanket. I also laid out one yellow rose and one pink rose on the blanket with a card next to them. I asked her to open her eyes. She was even more surprised than she even imagined. I asked her to open the card. I had written in the card that the yellow rose stood for friendship, and the pink rose stood for admiration. I told her I hope we are creating a good foundation for the next rose. She was so excited. She told me no one had ever gone to this much trouble for her.

We sat there, talked, drank champagne, ate our picnic food, held each other, and kissed. The date was perfect.

After the sun started going down, we went back to my place. We started to watch Monsters Inc. Half way through the movie, we started kissing very passionately. I led her over to my bed by the hand, and we made love for the first time. Our bodies felt like they had known each other for years, and the excitement and the passion were the most real that either one of us had ever felt. Everything about us seemed perfect. I would get lost looking into Aimee's eyes, and it intensified everything. Another perfect night, and it was apparent to the both of us that we both had started something that could go a long way.

From: Aimee

Date: Friday, September 20, 2002 08:03:27

To: Lane

Subject: Last night

Lane, (I sent this email last night, but it was returned to me. My computer only likes this address)

I had a wonderful evening too...these past two dates have been the MOST romantic dates I have ever been on, and certainly the most work anyone has even put into it...including me. You are teaching me a thing or two about romance!

I loved making love with you...and how passionate it was. The way you look at me is breathtaking. (and DON'T ask why!!!) ;)

I may be sexually out of shape...you may need to break me in! (that could be fun!)

Thank you for all your planning and thought that was put into tonight...our Monday date will pale in comparison, but at least we will be together.

Sweet dreams!

Aimee

The Trophy: Chapter Two, The Next Day

2008-12-02T00:01:00.000-08:00

This is a continuing series. The first chapter is found at http://cupidisdead.blogspot.com/2008/12/trophy-chapter-one-first-date.html

From: Aimee

Date: Wednesday, September 18, 2002 00:43:34

To: Lane

Subject: WOW

My dearest Lane,

Thank you for the most perfect date EVER...candles, music, GREAT food, wine, dancing close, good conversation and passion...you seem to be the 'total package', if you know what that is. It is everything I would want in a guy, you seemed to have in you tonight...I am also in 'awe' as you put it, as our date seems almost surreal.

No matter what...this goes down in my history as the best date ever!

I want to be able to spoil you as well, and I look forward to learning how to do just that. I am not sure I have a feel for anything that may spoil you at this point...hopefully I will soon, as you have already treated me better then I have been treated previously. You treated me like a princess, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. That has been a fantasy of mine, as well...

Wow...the way you kiss and stare into my eyes so intensely....melted me (in a good way!)...the way you touched me....spoke to me....

I will have sweet dream tonight, as they will be of you.

xoxoxoxo

Aimee

After the first date when Aimee left was one of anxiety for the both of us. We both knew what just happened was very special. I think we both wondered if we could pull it off again, or if it were a once in a lifetime date. I know it sounds simple, but the emotions we shared on the first date were incredible. I couldn't get my mind off of Aimee. I wanted to see her immediately. We had agreed to go out on September 19, but I had to, and I mean had to see her again before then. She immediately e mailed me upon getting home that night to tell me she had a wonderful time. She later sent and e-card (above) that said "you have done something to me that is wonderful...I can't wait until our second date!." I too couldn't wait until the 19th. I packed a lunch of left over Malaysian chicken pizza, a pop, a card letting her know of the wonderful time I had, and a dozen roses. She had also left a jacket over at my place too. I packed it all in a black duffle bag, so it would be a surprise. Being that we only had one date, I didn't want to make too big of a scene at where she worked. I drove to the Family Counseling offices where she worked, and I left it with the receptionist. I asked her to give this to Aimee. I went back to my car and drove off slowly hoping she would call.. Within ten minutes, she was on the phone saying thanks and wanting me to come back, so she could say thanks in person. I immediately drove back to where she worked, where she was waiting for me in the parking lot. We hugged and kissed. It was great seeing her. We only got about ten minutes, but it was ten minutes I needed. She sent me an ecard which is posted above. I also received this card in my snail mail box.

From: Aimee

Date: Wednesday, September 18, 2002 14:00:00

To: Lane

Subject: Re: Morning

Lane,

God you looked damn good today! You got me all aroused again just by looking at you!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I am having trouble digesting all of this in the past 20 hours...its like a tornado swept me up.

My pizza was delicious...YUM! The card was incredibly wonderful...the pop was refreshing...the roses are BEAUTIFUL!! I have them sitting in my office.

I am still at a loss for words as I feel overwhelmed, I guess. My life has been so routine and scheduled, and I guess I never expected 'us'. I don't know...my head is spinning with so many emotions...happiness, fear, desire, fear, joy, insecurity, unsettled, excitement...I am babbling.

Thank you once again...I can't say it enough!

Aimee

This was the beginning of the Lane Shrine. On a bookshelf that sits to the right of her desk, she designated the area called the Lane Shrine. She named it, and kept adding to it with memories that we created. The roses were the first item to be inducted into the Lane Shrine. Other Lane Shrine items would include stuffed animals from Starbucks and a picture I gave her that I took of Split Rock Light House in Minnesota. I had it framed for her, and I included a card that let her know that I hope her light is a light that shines in my life for a long time.

Please note that e mails are in chronological order from bottom to the top, and will continue to be throughout this blog.

From: Aimee

Date: Tuesday, September 24, 2002 03:06:15

To: Lane

Subject: Re: Good night

My dearest Lane,

My head is still swirling with all that happened tonight, and its 2 am. I have alot of emotion inside of me, and I, too, am at a loss for words.

Making love to you tonight was like nothing I have ever felt or believed existed before. It was incredibly passionate the way we moved as one, and looked in each others eyes...I feel like we have gotten much closer, too. Emotionally and physically. My body keeps having waves of arousal and excitemnet running through it, as the way we made love is how I always wanted it to be. I have found some great guys in the past, but I am not attracted to. I didn't believe I could find someone I have fun with, love to be wiith, and am so incredibly attracted to in so many ways.

I am scared, I admit that. I am scared of not ever finding that kind of relationship I always dreamed...I am scared of hurting you and not being all you think I am...I am scared of the lack of confidence I have been feeling in myself in some parts of our relationship, and I don't understand why (being vunerable, I guess)...I am scared of feeling too much, and this all disappearing...I am scared of entering territory I have not entered before...I am scared of screwing us up...

I never expected you in my life. You have been such a bright spot in my life...like an angel. I love to see you smile and I love to look in your eyes. You have an amazing presence about you.

Please do not comment on the following few statements. I do feel you deserve better then what I can give at this time. I think you deserve someone who has figured themselves out...ready to embrace such a wonderful gift like you...and someone who gives 100% of themselves....and only time will tell if I can be that person. I know I will tread lightly...be cautious...and be straightening some loose ends in my life up as I try to get to know you better. I should really discuss these loose ends with you. I never expected us to feel like this...never expected you, so I held back some.

You said something about how you weren't going to be seeing any other women, and I told you I am not looking for men either, but yet I can't give myself to you 100% at this time...if you are patient, I want to give you that part of me. If you lose patience...I understand, as its asking a great deal.

I thank you again for the gorgeous picture and for giving me a peice of your heart in it. When I look at it, I wish I was there with you. You are the most giving person I have ever met...and unconditionally so. You are a gift...you are an angel to me...my smile is due to you.

I loved the way we fit together when we cuddle...I can't believe how 'at home' I feel with you and how much I want to do with you...show you...its like I want to experience it all at once in case Iose you...or tread lightly, so I protect my heart.

After a week...I miss you as soon as I leave you...I think about you all the time...I wonder what your doing...what your feeling...if your day is going good.

You have instilled feelings in me that I do not yet understand...but you energize me...you inspire me to be a better person...you make me believe that the kind of love and relationship I always dreamed of may actually exist...

I can't put words together yet. I have been babbling this whole email, and I am so very careful with my words. Someday, I hope to get to the point that I can talk freely...share my inner thoughts with you without fear of saying the wrong thing. Hopefully, in time, we will feel that.

You asked me what a 'perfect relationship' to me is. Perfect does not mean without bumps or faults...because that is unrealistic. I always wanted someone to be affectionate with me around family and friends, and not stand next to me like a stranger or a friend afraid to show others the emotions we feel. I have NEVER found this...never. I want to be with someone who will share in my interests and allow some independence to grow. I want someone when I look at them, there is electricity and although we can't all the time...I want to WANT to make love all the time. I want someone who appreciates walks, holding hands, grocery shopping together, etc. I want somoene who will be vunerable...open up to me...hold me when I am sad....listen when I need to talk...a best friend, as we have dicussed. THAT is KEY!! I want to able to be with my boyfriend and with friends and look at him...want him...and being able! to go home and make love. I want it all. I haven't found it all until a week ago, and now at least I feel there may be a chance. I never want someone to change for me...and I would want to be accepted, as well. My friendships are sacred, and I meet with my best friends frequently to be re-energized. My friends know me...even through an email...and will call instantly if they suspect pain. I want that intuition in a relationship, too. I want someone who feels part of them is missing when I am gone...and whole when we are together.

See...I want it all. I guess my high standards are the reason I felt I needed to 'settle' in the past.

I am babbling more...I hope I didn't confuse you or say anything to hurt you in this email.

I miss you and so want to feel you next to me right now.

You are an amzing person...and I am honored to have you in my life. I honestly feel that way.

Aimee

The Trophy: Chapter One, The First Date

2008-12-01T17:02:00.000-08:00

On my way home one evening from work, I decided to check my e-mail from my palm phone while stuck in traffic. There was an e-mail notice from CupidJunction.com letting me know I had a reply to my personal ad. I had placed the ad over six months before that, and had not gotten one reply. I didn't think much about it until I got to my computer in my apartment, where I downloaded the e-mail again. I clicked on the link in the e-mail to read the ad from the woman who responded to my ad. It was simple, but yet romantic. This woman simply was looking for someone who liked to kiss for hours. I didn't respond immediately to the e-mail. It would be another three days before I would pay $4.95 to uncover the e-mail address to the woman who sent the e-mail.

From: Lane
Date: Friday, September 06, 2002 00:40:49
To: sclwrkr1234
Subject: ABOUT: Aimers Meets Campagnolo @ Cupid Junction

Aimee Wrote:
Hi there,
Wow...we live close by each other! You can reach me for free at sclwrkr1234@yahoo.com...if you want. I liked your profile...seems we do have a lot in common.

I am a therapist in Aurora...I am an optimist. I enjoy being outdoors. I am a simple girl...not a lot of makeup or hairspray.

I am looking to find a GREAT kisser...its my favorite pastime, and good kissers are hard to come by!!

Aimee

Lane Replied:

Hi Aimee,
Glad to hear back from you. It is late, so I will try to get in as much as I can, but I am very tired. I rode a hard 40 mile ride today in just under two hours.

I too enjoy the outdoors, and would rather be outside. Illinois doesn't impress me as a great outdoors state, so I like to go on an occasional road trip to relive some college days. They are just as good now, as they were then providing you are with the right person/people. I once did the Lake Michigan circle in two days, and it was well worth it. Just wish I had more time to spend in the U.P. I enjoy hiking, camping, and as you know cycling. I am more if a road cyclist, but I like to mountain bike too. I am originally from Missouri, and the mountain biking there is a lot better. It was always fun getting lost in the woods on the mountain bike and discovering new things. I used to do a lot of rappelling when I lived in Missouri as well.

I like simple girls, and really tire quickly of high maintenance women. I am very easy going, and just wish to enjoy life. I don't stress out about a lot.

As for the kissing, well, maybe one day we will find out if we can increase the love of your favorite past time.

Where did you go to school at to become a therapist? Tell me more about yourself.

Lane

At first, we just simply sent e-mail back and forth to each other. Her name was Aimee. Her e-mails were mysterious. She didn't say a whole lot, which for some reason, made me even more interested in whom this person might be. I eventually asked her to give me a call after many e-mails back and forth. She told me she didn't like calling guys first, and then gave me her work number. I called several times before actually getting a hold of. When I finally did, the conversations weren't as easy as other initial conversations in the past. It seemed like we both had our guards up. We would start to get comfortable on the phone, and then all of a sudden it would get uncomfortable. I never imagined we would meet, and then one day on the phone, I finally asked, would you like to come over for dinner, I am a very good cook. She said yes.

Honestly, I never once imagined we would hit it off. Our conversations on the phone weren't warm. They were intense and almost cold. We agreed to meet on September 17, 2002 at my Lisle apartment.

From: Lane
Date: Sunday, September 15, 2002 20:03:57
To: sclwrkr1234
Subject: Re: Morning

Hi Aimee,
We had a great ride today. We averaged 21 mph for the whole ride, so it was fast. I have a lot to do this evening, so I must keep this short.

Your weekend sounded awesome. I love festivals. It is hard to believe they will soon be coming to an end. So today isn't too exciting, but trust me Tuesday should be. I am looking forward to it. What is a good time for you? Let me know and I will come see what works for me.

Your topics of conversation sounds good, but if it goes deeper, it will be easier. I also am intrigued by the last topic of conversation.

Hope to hear from you soon.
Lane

-------Original Message-------

From: Aimee
Date: Sunday, September 15, 2002 7:09:43 AM
To: Lane
Subject: Morning

Lane,
Good luck riding today! My weekend has been fun, so far. I went festival-hopping yesterday...ate a ton! WE even had wine-tasting at the Geneva fest. Today, I am helping my roommate around the house and yard...going to a nursery and such. Not very exciting, I know.

I am looking forward to Tuesday, as well. I will come hungry! Do you have an idea on a good time?

By the way, here are appropriate topics for us to talk about on Tuesday:
weather; bike riding; likes/dislikes; friends; some family stuff; movies; food; and possibly kissing. Get the point? (ha)

Talk to you soon!

Aimee

Lane wrote:
I called you to talk to you after I read this. Don't worry about a thing. You don't owe me an apology. I just wonder sometimes how deep one should go on certain matters.

Have a great weekend.
Lane

-------Original Message-------

From: Aimee
Date: Friday, September 13, 2002 5:31:18 PM
To: campagnolo
Subject: Sorry

Lane,
I am sorry if we got too personal. Things don't feel 'right' now...and I am sure (I hope) that will clear up when we meet on Tuesday. I tend to not be very good at small talk...as I have been trained for years on how to get people to talk about deeper feelings. All of my friends (except my best friend Lisa) are therapists, and we are always very deep. I am actually an easy going person, and I enjoy the simle things in life. I guess I have lost the ability to just be simple in conversation, but I am willing to re-learn it.

I hope you still want to meet and that things haven't taken a different turn.
Hope your weekend is great!

Aimee

During the day, I spent most of it getting ready. I was actually nervous, and I am usually good on first dates. Aimee was supposed to meet me at my apartment at 6:00, and she was on time. I welcomed her in. An angel just walked through my door. She was beautiful, more than I ever imagined. She had sent some pictures to me that didn't really do her justice. I immediately asked her for a hug, which she wrapped her arms around me.

Dinner was waiting for her. I made chicken Malaysian pizza, Caesar salad, and a bottle or red wine. I lit candles, and wanted the mood to be that of romance and excitement. As we ate, our conversation was warm, very warm. Aimee had requested that we not talk about things like religion and politics to keep the conversation safe. She loved the food, and I just sat there and stared in amazement at how beautiful and amazing this woman was.

After dinner, I asked her if she would like to go for a walk around the woods of the Four Lakes apartment complex. We walked and talked, never running out of things to say. We found our way to a park bench, coincidental she used to live in a condo just down the street, where I asked her if she wanted to sit. We sat there for a while talking, and then, I asked her if I could kiss her. Normally, I would have just kissed her, but I knew my heart was telling me to do this right. We kissed, and it was magic. I knew right then, I was kissing the most beautiful woman I had ever kissed, and I told her that later in the night. The kisses were amazing; tender and intimate. The moment seemed to last forever. Aimee said kisses were important, and she was looking for someone who could kiss. She said it was something that had been missing in her life.

We talked about a variety of things from bicycle racing, to family, to Aimee's mom, and about each other. We both just shared so many things about us.

We finished our walk holding hands, talking about family, and went back to my apartment. I relit the candles, and placed the latest Dixie Chicks CD in my stereo and played Landslide. I pulled her near me, and we danced in my living room. The whole evening was surreal for the both of us. We kissed, and danced to some other songs, including Chris Issak's Please Let Me Down Easy (a message to her just in case she wasn't thinking the same as I). I looked into her eyes, and knew I was going to fall in love. The night was magic.